DON'T GET CLINGY IN THE DMs

Imagine sliding into your crush's DMs, only to be met with radio silence; sounds familiar? We know, it's frustrating and can sometimes lead to an unhealthy cycle of clinginess and obsessiveness. But hey, don't worry! We're here to guide you through this digital maze. This episode, we're getting real about compulsive messaging, its impact on mental health and relationships, and how to navigate digital communication healthily.

We're opening up a conversation about why some of us turn into digital leeches, and trust us, the reasons are more complex than you might think. Perhaps it's the fear of missing out, or an idealized fantasy attachment, or even lack of closure. But whatever the reason, we're addressing it and more. With practical advice on breaking free from these unhealthy habits, we're exploring how to respect boundaries, focus on self-love, and expand our social circles. So, come on over, let's foster healthier digital communication together!

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:24

Hey, loves, welcome back to Love Our Talks, the podcast where we dive into juicy topics on all things dating, love, relationships, wellness and entertainment. I'm your host, k-love, and today, honey, we're diving into some juicy topics. We're going to just kind of piggyback off of our last episode. Too much in the DMs. So sit back, get comfy and let's get real. So let's talk about how to stop being clingy or obsessive in the DMs, because women, we kind of see that, or men, we also see that. So, as people in general, we see that quite a bit. So have you ever found yourself sending multiple messages to someone who doesn't reply to you on a dating app or social media platform? You know, have you ever felt anxious, frustrated or hurt when someone stops responding to your DMs? Have you ever also wondered why you can't let go of someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to you? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, you might be suffering from clinginess or obsessiveness in the DMs. So clinginess is when you hold onto someone who has clearly moved on or rejected you. Obsessiveness is when you cannot stop thinking about someone who doesn't reciprocate your feelings. Both of these behaviors can have negative consequences for your mental health, your self-esteem and your relationships. So, on today's topic, we're going to just dive and explore some of the reasons why people become clingy or obsessive in the DMs and some of the strategies that can help you overcome these unhealthy patterns. So let's go. Why do people become clingy? There are many possible reasons why people can become clingy or obsessive, but some of the common ones are lack of closure, which is also considered like ghosting as well.

Speaker 1: 2:38

Sometimes people stop replying to your messages without giving you a clear reason why. This can leave you feeling confused, rejected or just wondering you know like what went wrong. You keep I mean you might keep messaging them in hopes of getting an explanation, an apology or maybe a second chance. Also, you think about low self-esteem. Sometimes people base their self-worth on how others perceive them. If someone doesn't reply to your messages, you might take it personally and think that there is something wrong with you. You might keep messaging them to seek validation, reassurance or approval. Also, another thing is fear of missing out. Sometimes people worry that they will lose an opportunity if they don't act fast. If someone doesn't reply to your messages, you might think that they're losing interest in you or that they are talking to someone else. You might also keep messaging them to try to keep their attention or to prevent them from moving on. You also have something called fantasy attachment. Sometimes people create an idealized image of someone they barely even know, based on their profile photos or the messages. If someone doesn't reply to your messages, you might feel like you are losing a potential soulmate or that you're missing out on a perfect relationship. You might keep messaging them to try to make your fantasies come true. On another one is also a coping mechanism For some individuals.

Speaker 1: 4:27

Being clingy in the DMs can be a way to cope with feelings of loneliness or insecurity. They may use constant communication as a way to fill a void in their lives or like to distract themselves from negative emotions. Another one could be a lack of awareness. Sometimes people don't even realize that their behavior is coming across as clingy or obsessive. They might be genuinely interested in the conversation and want to keep it going, but their approach can unintentionally create discomfort for the other person.

Speaker 1: 5:09

Also, the allure of the digital realm. In our increasingly digital world, the allure of connecting with someone through DMs, can be powerful. It's like having a direct line to someone's thoughts and feelings. This accessibility can sometimes be intoxicating.

Speaker 1: 5:33

People may become clingy or obsessive in the DMs because they're excited about the potential of a new connection. Also, you think about the fine line between enthusiasm and clinginess. See, it's essential to remember that there's a fine line between enthusiasm and clinginess in the DMs. While enthusiasm can be endearing, crossing into clinginess territory can push potential connections further away. You want to maintain a healthy communication. So what's the key to maintaining a healthy communication in the DMs? It's about finding a balance between expressing interest and respecting each other's boundaries. Quality over quantity like in my last episode we talked about that. It's often a good rule of thumb. So let's dive into how to stop being clingy or obsessive in the DMs, because just doing this can be harmful for both yourself and the other person, your messaging. It can cause you stress, like I said, anxiety, depression, anger or resentment. It can also annoy that person, irritate or pretty much, like I said, scare them away. Therefore, it is important to learn how to stop being this clinginess or obsessive. I'm going to give you a few tips on how to break free of these unhealthy habits.

Speaker 1: 7:12

Okay, so, number one respect their boundaries. If someone doesn't want to reply to your messages, it means that they're not interested in talking to you at that point. It could be because they're too busy, you know, or just bored, or simply just don't want to communicate with you. Whatever the reason is, you have to respect their choice and their privacy. Don't bombard them with more messages, calls or notifications and please, again, do not stalk their online activity, profile or their posts. Okay, you know, don't try to guilt-trip them or manipulate them or pressure them into replying to you. It's, you know, it's not necessary. Give them space and time to respond at their own pace.

Speaker 1: 7:58

Number two you want to kind of focus on yourself Instead of obsessing over someone who doesn't reply to your messages. Focus on yourself in your own happiness. You know you want to do things that make you feel good about yourself in your life. Pursue your hobbies, of course, your goals and whatever your passions is. Pursue those things Because sometimes with your friends, family or pets, you know you also want to practice self-care and self-love. Remind yourself of your strengths, your achievements and your values, because everyone has value. Boost your self-esteem and confidence by just doing things that challenge you and something you know that makes you grow.

Speaker 1: 8:41

Number three expand your options. Instead of clinging to someone who doesn't reply to your messages. Expand your options. Meet new people who might be more capable, compatible with you. Use different apps or just a different platform that suits your preferences and goals. Be open-minded and curious about different people and cultures. You also want to be friendly and respectful when initiating conversations with potential magics Because, to be honest, you want to be honest and authentic when you're expressing yourself and your intentions. That's always good. You also want to be selective and keep it just be realistic when choosing who to talk to and who to meet. Number four seek professional help.

Speaker 1: 9:32

Pretty much, if you find it hard to stop being clingy or obsessive in the DMs, despite trying to trying all these tips I just gave you, you may have an underlying issue that needs professional attention. You might be suffering from a mental health disorder or some type of anxiety disorder, depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder or attachment disorder, because sometimes we deal with things in our childhood that we don't realize. That shows up later in life. So as adults, we need to recognize those things Also. You just pretty much want to just be mindful of that, because it's not healthy or productive to you know. It's not a healthy or productive way to communicate with someone You're interested in and do these things. It can damage your mental health Like I said yourself a scene and your relationship with that person. It can definitely push that person away and there will no longer be attracted to you. So therefore, it is important to learn how to stop being clingy or obsessive in the DMs, on social media or any other platform, text messaging or anything like that. Just adapt a healthier and more effective way to communicate with others. So I Really hope that this helped you today, or anyone that's out there that's dealing with this or have dealt with this, or someone if you even Recognize that you could possibly be doing some of these things. These are some good tips for you to kind of listen to and learn from. So again, thank you, love listeners.

Speaker 1: 11:15

That wraps up today's episode on being clingy or obsessive in the DMs, and that's again. You know, let's talk about it, slide into my DMs respectfully and or hit me up in the comments and let's discuss further. Don't forget to like, subscribe and download our podcast, share our Our podcast and follow us on Spotify, apple, itunes, I heart radio and we are now on Google podcast and, of course, on Facebook for more juicy topics like this. Thank you all today for joining me. Until next time we love our talks. I am your host, k love and Remember, go out, do something great, achieve great things, because, guess what? You are great in your destiny to be successful. Alright, love you guys. Bye.