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"Why 'Perfect on Paper' Isn’t Always Your Type"

• KLove • Season 2 • Episode 14

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Summary:

Are you tired of searching for the perfect partner, only to find yourself feeling emotionally disconnected? Join us for an eye-opening conversation as we challenge the notion of superficial attraction and explore the true ingredients for a fulfilling relationship. In this thought-provoking episode, we uncover why ticking all the boxes on paper often leads to dissatisfaction, infidelity, and heartbreak. We'll guide you through the importance of emotional compatibility and vulnerability, highlighting the power of being truly seen by your partner. Get ready to prioritize genuine emotional fulfillment over societal expectations, as we empower you to focus on what truly nurtures your soul.

Tune in now to redefine what truly matters in a partner and prioritize true love rooted in genuine connection, not just checking boxes.

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Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

Speaker 1:

Hey, loves, welcome back to Love Our Talks, the podcast where we dive into all things juicy about love, relationships and everything in between. I'm your host, kayla, and we're diving into something real, something so real today, something that we all have to reckon with at some point. And we're talking about attraction. We've been there, we've all been attracted to someone or they've been attracted to us. Whether they are attracted to us, whether they have a great job, they look good on paper, but does that really make someone your type? I'm going to take it a step further. Could this be why some people cheat? I'm just saying so.

Speaker 1:

The topic of today is why perfect on paper isn't always your type, because why they may look good but it feels wrong. So we're going to break it all the way down. So go ahead, grab your wine, your tea, your coffee or whatever makes you feel good because I got mine and let's go ahead and get on into it. So let's be honest here We've all met someone who checks all our boxes. You know they got the looks, the success, charming. They even say all the right things. But here's the catch that doesn't always mean they're good for you, because sometimes what looks perfect on the outside doesn't feel perfect on the inside, and that's where things can get pretty shaky. Now I'm not justifying cheating by any means, okay, but let's really break this thing down. You know, some people find themselves in relationships where everything looks right but something's missing. You know there's no emotional depth, no real connection. And you know, let me tell you, because you can be in a relationship with someone who has it all right, but if they don't see you, see you, if they don't connect with you in that deep, vulnerable way, it can leave you feeling pretty empty. You know that emotional void, that's real. So think about it. How many times have you ever heard someone say I don't know why I cheated, okay, everything seemed perfect. Well, the truth is, when the emotional connection isn't there, when you're just going through the motions or pretending that everything is all hunky-dory, you know, because they should be your type that's when people start looking for that connection elsewhere.

Speaker 1:

Again, this isn't about excusing that behavior, it's about understanding where it starts. See, we got to stop chasing what looks good and start paying attention to what feels good. And I don't mean surface level good, I mean soul level good, the kind of love where you feel truly understood, where your partner knows you I'm talking about your flaws, your quirks and everything like that you could be goofy, silly, whatever the case may be and still chooses you every day. That's what we're all looking for, right? Even if sometimes we don't realize it. This is where you know that self-awareness comes in, especially as you get older and I'm talking about a little bit over 40s, right, you get over 40s. You've lived enough to know that attraction alone it can't sustain a relationship. You know, being with someone who looks good on your arm, who impresses your friends, who checks off a few items on your wish list, doesn't guarantee happiness. Because what happens when life really gets real? Because it will when challenges come up and they will, you know, are they still your person when things get rough? Or are they just someone who was easy to be with when life was just all smooth sailing and let's take it? You know, let's think about this again too. Let's get a little bit more deeper and more real here.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes people step out of relationships because they're searching for that emotional connection they're not getting at home, and that doesn't mean it's right, it's just, that's the real of it. You might be with someone who looks good on paper, but if you don't feel seen or supported or emotionally safe with them, it's easy to start seeking that validation elsewhere. Emotional cheating, physical cheating it all comes from the same place A lack of true connection. You got to find that true connection. Okay. True connection, okay. You have to start thinking about and doing some more soul searching, especially when you're in a relationship with that person. You're around them enough to know how you really feel, unless you're just steady, walking around on surface level, like I said, surface level love. Then what are you really doing? What are you really doing? What are you really doing? I think it's time you know. If you have to continue to walk around with that surface level love for a year, that's a problem. You really need to move on from that. That's not deep, that's not real, it's just not so.

Speaker 1:

Here's my advice you know, when you're thinking about who's really your type, go beyond the surface. Like I said, ask yourself does this person truly get me? Can I be my whole authentic self with them? Do they make me feel like I'm enough? Do they make me feel like I'm enough? You know, and if you can say yes to these questions, it doesn't matter how good they look or how impressive they are on paper.

Speaker 1:

At the end of the day, relationships are about more than just checking boxes. They're about building a life with someone who makes you feel loved, appreciated and secure. Y'all. We got to stop settling for what looks right and start demanding what feels right, because you deserve more than just someone who just looks good standing next to you. You deserve someone who makes you feel good when you're alone with them. Right, and someone who fills your emotional cup. Baby girl, baby guy, you know people out there.

Speaker 1:

So next time you're thinking about what makes someone your type remember this love isn't just about appearances or what's on their resume. It's about connection. It's about that chemistry. It's about connection. It's about that chemistry, you know, finding someone who fits your life, not just someone who's just your checklist, checking off those boxes. Okay, you know, that's the. That's the real of it all today. So I want you to go ahead and reflect on that. Share with a friend, because you know you never know who may need to hear this message as well. Okay, and always stay true to yourself. That's first and foremost. Stay true to yourself, you know, until next time. That is the end of this episode and you know, keep the love at the center of everything, especially if you're wanting to have a real longevity connection with someone. Keep that at the center of it and not the surface. So, again, thank you for tuning in today with me. If you love this episode, don't forget to like, share and subscribe.

Speaker 1:

Let's keep the conversation going in the comments and on social media. Let's discuss this further. I want to hear from you guys. Okay, I haven't yet to hear feedback. Okay, again, you can get more tips and advice for your relationship.

Speaker 1:

Maybe you're struggling in a certain area my new ebook, love Secret Code. It covers a lot of things. There's 10 chapters in there. We talk about emotional availability, honesty in your relationship, how to communicate effectively, vulnerability and intimacy. We talk about toxic relationships, red flags, also overcoming jealousy. So things like that. You can find that in my new ebook, love's Secret Code. You can download your copy today at theloveplacenet. So follow me on all platforms. I am on Facebook, love our talks, and the more you support my podcast, the more I can continue to bring you relationship advice. So until next time, I'm K-Love and I'll talk to you guys and see you on the next episode. And remember, though just remember this Each day holds the promise of a new beginning. So be better, do better. Love harder than the day before. Your best days aren't behind you. They're being written today. So keep moving forward, because your potential is limitless. All right, love you guys. Bye.