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Love Our Talks
I'm your host KLove, we dive into juicy topics about love, relationships, dating, wellness and entertainment. We will also have special guests that will join the conversation.
Love Our Talks
Breaking Down Walls to Build Stronger Bonds
Have you ever found yourself yearning for a deeper connection in your relationships, wondering what it truly means to be emotionally available? This episode is your guide to unlocking the secrets of emotional availability, the keystone for thriving relationships. As we prepare for "Thrive in 25," I offer personal insights, sharing the joy of my recent birthday celebration and the exciting launch of my new book, "Love Secrets Code." We journey through the vital aspects of being emotionally present, embracing vulnerability, and confronting the fear of rejection that often creates emotional barriers. Discover how life's distractions can unexpectedly breed emotional distance, and learn practical strategies to rekindle that essential connection with your partner.
As we close one chapter and look toward another, let's embrace the limitless potential of the future with optimism and love. Gratitude is at the heart of this episode, as I extend thanks to all our listeners and share a heartfelt message about the power of new beginnings. Our journey forward is one of self-improvement, encouraging everyone to strive for better, love harder, and seize the promise each day offers. The future is bright, with our best days crafted in the present moment. Join us in this uplifting episode as we welcome 2025 with hope and determination, ready to make every moment count.
Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
Hey, loves, welcome back, welcome back, welcome back to man. Another episode of Love, our Talks, okay, where we dive into all things juicy about love, right, and everything in between. You know this. We have made it to the end of the year, so this will be the last episode of the year and I am so, so, so excited to be going into 25, 2025. Y'all and I call it my thriving year. Thrive in 25, right? So I'm just looking for an amazing, an amazing 25, 2025 year. So let's go ahead and get right on into it. You already know the drill Go ahead, grab your tea, grab your coffee, grab your smoothie, whatever makes you feel comfy and cozy, and let's go ahead and dive in today's topic.
Speaker 1:So much has been going on within the time the last episode, um, so a lot has happened. I will get you caught up with everything. Um, I had my birthday in November. Um went on vacation. That was such an amazing vacation with friends. Um also been spending a lot of time working on writing, so I'm writing new material which will be out. But however, okay, however you can go.
Speaker 1:We've already launched Love Secrets Code. It is out now. You can purchase that on Amazon or you can get the signed copy yeah, the signed copy at theloveplacenet Love's secret code unlocking the mysteries to relationships, okay, and we're talking about emotional availability. We're talking about how to communicate between you and your partner. Why do you feel disconnected from your partner, and so forth and so on. There is 10 chapters in that book, so you want to go ahead and grab that book because this could help save your relationship. Okay, you're going to find a lot of key tips and advice and things of that nature to help you. Okay, so go ahead and grab that book. Like I said, it's on Amazon and it's on the loveplacenet.
Speaker 1:So, and when we're talking about emotional availability, which is our topic for today, we are shining a light on that. Okay, and why does it feel? Like? You know, some people may say why do I feel disconnected from my partner or why does it feel like I'm giving more emotionally than I'm getting back? Now, if you can relate to any of those things, then this is for you.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about the foundation of emotional availability. I want to break down emotional availability, okay, because as the heartbeat of any thriving relationship. Without it, even the strongest attraction okay, the strongest, the deepest love or the longest history together, can feel kind of hollow, kind of empty right Now. Emotion availability isn't just about showing up physically. It's about showing up with your whole self. It's about being open to giving and receiving love, letting your walls down and allowing someone into the space you usually guard. And so many people walk around with their guards up like dukes up. Let's fight all the time, right? You know, I always say this being emotionally available isn't just something your partner needs to be. It's something you need to check in on right For yourself. It's something you need to check in on right For yourself. Are you really open to being vulnerable, or are you holding back because of fear? Because, let's be real, fear of rejection, fear of being hurt or fear of failure can turn even the most loving person into someone emotionally closed off, and that's when you start to see cracks in your relationships. Okay, now let's take a look at what emotion availability looks like now.
Speaker 1:In my book, I painted a picture of what, uh, emotion availability looks like in action. It's not just um, about the big romantic gestures or saying I love you. It's in a small things, consistent ways, we show up for each other. It's when your partner sits down and listens to you, really listens, really listens right when you're venting about your day, it's when they notice something's off with you and they ask hey, you know what's going on Instead of brushing it under the rug. And it's when you feel safe enough to cry in front of them, to share your fears or your dreams without worrying they'll judge you or shut you down. Now, on the flip side, emotional unavailability is just as easy to spot. It looks like avoidance, avoiding tough conversations, brushing things off, brushing off your emotions, throwing up walls every time things get, you know, too real for you. And that kind of emotional distance can make you feel like you're alone, even when you're in the same room with someone in the same space.
Speaker 1:Okay, so let's also talk about why emotional availability fades. Here's a reality check, and I talk about this again in the book. Emotional unavailability isn't always intentional, because here's the thing life gets busy between work, kids, family and the day-to-day grind. Right, people get distracted and sometimes your partner isn't emotional available because they you know they don't. It's not because they don't love you, it's because they've gotten caught up in everything else. Okay, that the world is throwing at them and forgotten to prioritize the connection. And, honestly, haven't we all been there right at some point. Yeah, I know you can relate with that, but when that distance goes unchecked, it grows, baby, it grows, baby, it grows. You know, what started as a small disconnect can turn into something huge, right? If you're not careful, and before you know it, you're wondering what happened to us. That's why catching it early and doing the work is so important. Okay, it's so important.
Speaker 1:Now I want to break down some things on how to rebuild emotional availability. So let's talk about solutions, right, because we don't want to continue to go down this path. We don't want to continue to feel like we're fighting with someone that we're supposed to love, right? No, that's not okay. So at this point, it's like a problem, and I want to help you fix that.
Speaker 1:If you're feeling disconnected from your partner, or if you're realizing that you're the one who's emotional unavailable, here's how you can start turning things around. First, you got to acknowledge it. You can't fix what you don't admit. And if you're feeling disconnected, tell your partner. And if you're the one holding back, be honest with yourself about why Are you afraid to let your guard down? Are you just too distracted by life to invest emotionally? You know?
Speaker 1:So the next thing is create space for emotional conversations. Again, like I say in the book, I give you examples of how to start these dialogues in a way that doesn't feel confrontational. That's not what you want. For example, instead of saying you never listen to me, you know, try saying look, I miss how we used to talk about everything. Okay, you know, can we make some time for that again? I really miss that. See, that sounds softer than you. Never, you, you, you you're pointing a finger. Okay, that's, it's a softer way to do that. So it's inviting. You know. You want to invite that person into your space and it's opened the door for connection instead of conflict, you know.
Speaker 1:The third thing is to reconnect through shared activities. That's another great thing. So sometimes the best way to break through emotional walls is by stepping away from the heavy stuff and doing something fun together. You know. Go on a date, cook dinner together, take a walk, listen to music, dance together anything that reminds you of the connection that you guys shared in the first place.
Speaker 1:And last but not least, you really want to be patient, because emotional availability doesn't magically just happen overnight. It's a process and it takes trust, consistency and a willingness to keep showing up for each other, even when it feels hard. Okay, even when it feels hard, you know, in my own marriage, right, we've had seasons where emotional availability was a struggle. There were times when life got so hectic we didn't realize how distant we'd become until it hit us hard. But we made a choice to prioritize each other. We had those tough conversations, even when it wasn't comfortable. We put in the work, we reconnected emotionally and because of that we're stronger today than we've ever been.
Speaker 1:So trust me when I say emotional availability is the secret sauce to making love last, because people ask me all the time well, how y'all been together for so long? What made you guys be together this long? There are some things that people don't understand. Every relationship will have its ups and downs, but it's all about the trust, the loyalty and the commitment that you want to put in it. And you have to sit there and realize, okay, well, what is it that I need to work on and what could my partner work on? You got to have those tough conversations, and that's what I'm talking about. Tough conversations Because sometimes we don't want to admit things and let alone do we want to tell our partner. And are they going to feel some type of way because we're telling them this. Are they going to have a guard up? And now we're conflict, right? So think about that. So, now that we've unpacked that, you know what we talked about in my book.
Speaker 1:I hope it inspires you to take a closer look at emotional availability in your own relationships, whether it's with a partner, a family member or even yourself. Ask those tough questions Are you emotionally open? Ok, or are they? And if not, what can you do to start bridging the gap? Y'all you got to go and grab Love Secret Code, ok, because it is packed with insights, tools and real life wisdom to help you unlock the mysteries of love and relationships. So if you haven't already got it, like I said, you can go ahead and grab it now at theloveplacenet, and it is an autograph, signed copy. But if you want to get the book Amazon Prime or if you have Amazon, you can grab it right now amazoncom.
Speaker 1:So I want to thank you guys again for tuning in with me today. Like I said, it's been a lot happening and this is the end of the year. I'm so excited for what 2025 has in store. Okay, so until next time with Love, our Talks. I'm Kayla and I'll see you in 2025 on the next episode of Love R Us Talks. But remember before I go, remember these things Each day holds a promise of a new beginning, so do better, be better, love harder than the day before, because your best days aren't behind you. They're being written today. So keep moving forward, because your potential is limitless. All right, well, love you guys. Bye.