.jpg)
Love Our Talks
I'm your host KLove, we dive into juicy topics about love, relationships, dating, wellness and entertainment. We will also have special guests that will join the conversation.
Love Our Talks
"Jealousy Among Friends: The Silent Killer"
This episode is for anyone who has felt the sting of jealousy from a friend or has been unsure about managing the jealousy they themselves may feel. We discuss the important role of trust in friendships and emphasize the necessity of communication to address these feelings before they lead to resentment. Additionally, we offer practical tips on protecting your energy and striving for an abundant mindset.
By fostering environments of support rather than competition, we can empower each other to celebrate wins rather than sulk in jealousy. Listen in to gather clarity on navigating these tricky waters, and don’t forget to share your stories with us. Together, let’s break the cycle of jealousy and build friendships that uplift and honor both parties. Subscribe, share, and leave a review if you find the conversation valuable!
Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
Hey, loves, welcome back to another captivating episode of Love, Our Talks, the podcast where we dive into all things juicy about love, dating, relationships, entertainment and wellness. I am your host, k-love, and today our topic is I don't even know if I should say the topic right now or should I just hold out, but I'm going to go ahead and tell y'all the jealousy factor. So I think I talked to you last episode and we're working on a six-part series. We're only going to do six parts because I want to make this short so we can move on to other juicy topics later on. So, but this one is dear to me.
Speaker 1:Like I said, we're working on a six part series and it's mainly about sisterhood friendships, and in this six part series we're going to break down different dynamics of the friendship, how things can go sour. Our last episode was about sisterhood gone sour, so we broke that down and we talked about that. So today is the jealousy factor. So I need you to go ahead, grab your wine, coffee, tea, smoothie, whatever your drink of choice is, sit back and relax. Whatever your drink of choice is, sit back and relax, because today we are getting into something that's been lurking in the shadows of way too many friendships. You know, like I said, it's a word that we don't want to mention. Yeah, jealousy, yep, but we're going to go ahead and talk about it, the thing that nobody likes to admit, but we all know it exists, right, okay? So don't act like you don't know that. So have you ever had a friend switch up on you the moment your life started getting better? Or have you ever felt that someone close to you was secretly competing Everything you began to do? They wanted to do it as well. Okay, they claim to be cheering for you, right? Or have you ever had to downplay your own success just to keep a friendship intact? And if so, then you already know that's the jealousy factor and that it is real. Like I said, today we are breaking it down. Where does this jealousy come from? And why do women get jealous of each other instead of uplifting one another? And, most importantly, how do you deal with it? You know. So, like I said, grab whatever you're going to drink and let's go ahead and get into it.
Speaker 1:So what jealousy really looks like in a friendship? Jealousy doesn't always look like hating. It doesn't always come in the form of somebody outright saying I don't want you to win. No, no, no, no. Jealousy is slick, it's very subtle, you know, it's quiet, shade, right, it's energy shifts. It's those little backhanded compliments. Energy shifts, it's those little backhanded compliments. Also, it's those moments where you feel the tension but you can't quite put your finger on it.
Speaker 1:You find yourself questioning your own sanity, right as if did I just hear that? Or, okay, well, am I tripping? So, you know, you tell your friend, for example, you got a promotion and instead of girl, I'm so proud of you, girl, you rock you amazing, right, you are amazing, you doing a thing? Hmm, you get a. Oh, that's nice, must be nice, and y'all know must be nice, come on, come on, must be nice. You know that, shade, you know that shade, you know that shade. You show up looking good, right, feeling good, living your best life, and instead of love you get oh, I see you trying to be all fancy now, huh, you know, let me get just a little bit more personal for y'all. You know, this is going to be like a confession of what really happened in one of my friendships.
Speaker 1:You know, I was just starting my acting journey and, as you all know, you have to start from the bottom up. You have to start somewhere and earn your stripes to get further in your career now as an actor. You don't just pop up and be on tv or you don't just get casted for a show because you just show. You know you sent in something. There's a process, there's, there's a lot to it, right?
Speaker 1:So my beginnings I started out as a body double slash stand-in for a well-known supermodel back in the day for a popular show, and this is about 2013, 2012. So at the time, I had a best friend and the thing is, she was in the industry before I even got into it and I was doing modeling, but she was more of the acting side, doing commercials and things of that nature. I can't say film or tv, but I remember her doing commercials. Yeah, I remember that. And so, um, you know, when I first started, like I said, I started out doing background work and, like I said, she was in the doing background work and, like I said, she was in the industry. So at first she was giving me information and tips like, okay, this is where you get your headshots, you should shoot with this particular photographer because they're well-known in the industry. She was seeming supportive at first and then that turned into what we mentioned backhanded compliments shade, and then it went from me beginning to advance and move further in my career and as the shows went on, I was getting more recognition, I was getting to know people on the set and things of that nature.
Speaker 1:So one particular job came up and it was out of town and I submitted for it and I got booked for nine days and I remember clearly she said out of her mouth you shouldn't do it, you shouldn't take the job, because who goes out of town to do background work? You're just, you know, you're just doing background. But with this particular job I wanted to do it because I had never filmed a movie like a box office movie and so I wanted that experience. I wanted to know what it was like to be on that type of set. I wanted to work with a particular actor. He's well known in the industry, not going to name names, but he was a well-known wrestler, like skin, good looking, big muscles. You can go from there, but anyway. So I really wanted to be on that set, right, and so, that being said, I booked, I went anyway and, like I said, I remember her comments you shouldn't do it. These are reasons why you shouldn't do it.
Speaker 1:She really tried to deter me but I did not let her words and everything she had stop me. So she kind of got mad at me because I didn't listen to her and that turned our relationship into it drifting apart. I kind of blocked her for a minute because I didn't want to hear her negativity or anything like that while I was there. But I remember I unblocked and we had a conversation and we talked and I felt that her energy shifted a bit. Now she's seeming to be more excited, like I'm glad you made it there, hope you have a good time, blah, blah, blah and so, hmm, so her trying to stop me, it didn't work and I did it anyway. And now what she had to get on board, okay, fine. So anyway, fast forward.
Speaker 1:I remember her and myself and a mutual friend we were sitting down for brunch or lunch or whatever and I was excited because you know I was working on the show here and I was telling both of them my experience being on the show and I clearly remember her telling me and her pulling out her phone and she was like I know this girl. She lives in another city. Now I've been friends with this girl almost 15 years. I've never heard of this person before. Out of her mouth she's never mentioned this girl or whoever she is, because she wasn't a part of our friend circle or anything like that. So I'm more closer to my best friend because she was my best friend. And so she brings out her phone and she proceeds to show me the girl's page or whatever, and she says clearly, oh, this is so-and-so, so-and-so, she's a real actress. She's doing X, y and Z, blah, blah, blah. And so I'm sitting here like, okay, you saying that she's a real actress, okay, but I'm sure she started somewhere.
Speaker 1:She has a journey, just like everybody else. You have to have a journey, you have to follow the process. Where she is now, yes, but guess what? Who's to say that I won't get there? It was like she was discounting me and I will never get there. I will never get there. She didn't see the vision, or if she did see the vision, she wanted to distract me from the vision. However it was, it just was not a good look, and so that really hurt, because someone that I thought was my best friend, I thought she would uplift me, I thought she would be there for me. She's been in the industry, she has some tips and some things of that nature, so she'd be a good resource as well and we can go on this ride together and maybe it can open those doors back up for her as well. That's how I see things, especially with my friends. If there's something that I'm doing and it could segue over to you or it can help open something for you, hey, let's do it. I am that type of friend.
Speaker 1:So fast forward that mutual friend. They end up falling out and she ended up. My best friend ended up calling me and was telling me about their falling out or whatever, was telling me about their falling out or whatever. And the very first thing when I called her back to talk to her, she was already on 10. Because of her and the other mutual friend, they had a disagreement. She was already on 10. So instead of us talking about mending and getting our relationship together, she vented about the other girl, the mutual friend, and that spiraled into a heated argument and harsh words. Harsh words were exchanged and we hadn't spoken since.
Speaker 1:So my thing is the friendship, the latter part of our friendship, threatened by what was happening in my life. I know she had challenges at the time and at the time, for me, things were looking great and I think she was threatened by that. But yeah, I did not see that friendship dissolving like that. I did not see that coming. Because we've been through so much, I did not see that Some people can see the potential in you well, before it even happened, and they do get threatened by that, and that's how jealousy forms. That's how jealousy moves. It hides behind jokes. It hides behind oh, I was just playing, you know, I was just messing with you, but no, you felt that you just messing with you, but no, you felt that you felt what they said. You felt those sly comments, those supposed to have been jokes, or I was just messing with you. You felt that. And you know it really hurts, right, it does. So that's my personal story, y'all.
Speaker 1:So let's talk about where does jealousy come from and why do women get jealous of each other, like I said, instead of uplifting one another, why does a win for me look like a loss for you? So insecurity, right. Number one thing is it could be insecurity and comparison, right. So let's keep it real. Some people don't even know who they are outside of comparing themselves to others. They don't see their own value, so they look at your life as a measurement of what they don't have, instead of focusing on their own lane.
Speaker 1:Second thing it could be is fear of being left behind. Sometimes it ain't even that they hate you. It's that they fear you are outgrowing them. They feel like you're keeping it moving, you're moving up and you'll leave them behind. Instead of getting inspired, they get intimidated. Third thing could be scarcity mindset. Women have been conditioned to believe that there's only so much success, love, attention and happiness to go around. There's only so much success, love, attention and happiness to go around. So if you have it, that must mean there's less for me, but that's a lot. There is more than enough for all of us. Boo, there's more than enough. There's more love out there. There's more caring for each other. There's so much more out there.
Speaker 1:How do you deal with jealous friends? And keep your peace, because that's important. Keeping your peace is extremely important. One thing you got to do is stop ignoring the signs Because, sis, you ain't crazy. You are not crazy. You feel what you feel for a reason. If the energy is off, trust that. Trust that your gut feeling, trust that.
Speaker 1:Second thing is address it. You either address it or you let it go. You got those two choices. So you talk about it or you walk away. If it's a real friendship, you might be able to work through it. But if it's jealousy and it's deep rooted baby, ain't no fixing that. No, they're going to sit with that and they're going to have that ego and it's not going to get fixed. No, there's no compromise and there's nothing. Third thing is you have to protect your energy. Some people are just not meant to be in your front row seat, so keep your wins sacred to yourself.
Speaker 1:Move in silence. I know you see this all over the internet. Stop speaking about certain things. Stop telling the world what you're going to do, what you're about to do. Stop, move in silence. I know you see this all over the internet. Stop speaking about certain things. Stop telling the world what you're going to do, what you're about to do. Stop. Move in silence and stop expecting people to clap when they don't even want to see you on the stage in the first place.
Speaker 1:And lastly, do not dim your light. Don't dim your light. The worst thing you can do is shrink yourself to make someone else comfortable. You better. Keep shining, because the right friends will celebrate you, not compete against you. Period, period, okay. So listen, jealousy is a friendship killer, and it's real out here. But let me tell you something your purpose is bigger than somebody else's insecurity and your blessing, your blessings. They ain't up for debate. You do not have to shrink yourself to keep people in your life.
Speaker 1:Okay, now, if this episode spoke to you, let's talk about it. Have you ever had a friend get jealous of you? How did you handle it? I want you to DM me. Figure out a way how to get in touch with me. Okay, because I want to talk to you guys. I'm building this whole. I want to talk, dm me, figure out a way how to get in touch with me.
Speaker 1:Okay, Because I want to talk to you guys. I'm building this whole. I want to talk about this. Like I said, it's a six part series and at the end of the six part series, I'm going to have a whole surprise for you guys. Okay, so it's going to be amazing. And do me a favor If you know someone who needs to hear this, send this episode to them, because, sis, we are not about to let jealousy hold us back in 2025. All right, so until next time, protect your energy, keep shining and always keep growing. Okay, and I'll see y'all on the next episode and don't forget to like. Okay, and I'll see y'all on the next episode. And don't forget to like. Subscribe to the podcast. Like I said, leave your comments. We are on Spotify, itunes, iheartradio.