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Love Our Talks
I'm your host KLove, we dive into juicy topics about love, relationships, dating, wellness and entertainment. We will also have special guests that will join the conversation.
Love Our Talks
“She’s Not Your Friend, Sis… She’s Your Frenemy”
Have you ever felt that nagging suspicion about a friend who smiles to your face but somehow leaves you feeling drained? That uneasy feeling isn't paranoia—it's your intuition alerting you to a frenemy in your circle.
We've all experienced them: the so-called friends who clap when you succeed but with such lukewarm energy you can almost hear their eyes rolling. The ones who show up readily for your struggles but mysteriously disappear during your victories. The friends who copy your style, ideas, or projects without ever acknowledging you as their inspiration. These aren't coincidences—they're signs of someone who benefits from your connection but doesn't truly celebrate your growth.
This episode breaks down the nine warning signs that someone might be your frenemy, shares personal experiences with fake friendships, and offers practical strategies for protecting your energy without creating unnecessary drama. We explore why some people operate this way—from deep-seated insecurity to an unhealthy competitive mindset—and why it's essential to trust your instincts when something feels off. The most impactful advice? "Stop telling your business to everybody. Not everyone who listens to you is rooting for you."
Ready to clean up your circle and invest in relationships that actually fill your cup instead of draining it? Listen now, and join our conversation about navigating the complex world of friendships versus frenemies. Your peace of mind depends on surrounding yourself with people who genuinely want to see you win. Have you experienced a frenemy relationship? Share your story in the comments or DM me—let's talk about it!
Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
Hey, loves, welcome back to Love Our Talks, where the podcast, where we bring all things juicy Love, dating, entertainment, wellness you know we got it all okay All over here, so you know what we are back. Like I said, and as we begin to close out almost the last part of the series, the six part series we've been talking about with friendships, girl sisterhoods, relationships, family, everything. I just want to make sure you understand what friendships can do and how it can leave a lasting effects. So on today's topic. So on today's topic, she's not your friend sis, she's your frenemy. Yeah, I said that. Yeah, she's not your friend sis, she's your frenemy. We're talking about something we all need to keep an eye out for the frenemy, you know exactly what I mean the so-called friend who smiles in your face but secretly hates on you behind your back. The one who claps for you in public but rolls their eyes in private. And the one who acts like you know they're rooting for you but deep down you know they want to see you fail and fall flat on your face. So let's be real. Some of the biggest haters don't come from strangers. They come disguised as friends and the worst part by the time you realize it, they've already done the damage. So today, like I said, we're exposing the signs of a frenemy. So today, like I said, we're exposing the signs of a frenemy, breaking down why they do what they do and, most importantly, how to protect yourself from the fake love that's really just low-key envy. So you know what? Go ahead, grab your wine, coffee, tea, smoothie, drink of choice, because I got mine. And today, yeah, we're talking about the wolves in sheep's clothing frenemies. So what exactly is a frenemy, you ask? I'm glad you did.
Speaker 1:So let's start with this. A frenemy is someone who pretends to be your friend but secretly harbors jealousy, competition or even resentment towards you. They move like they're in your corner, but the truth is they're waiting for your downfall. And frenemies, you know, ain't always easy to spot. Always easy to spot. Some of them play the role so well you don't realize they were never really for you until, like, literally, it's too late. Literally, it's too late. So the signs that you need to look out for that you're dealing with a frenemy. Yeah, let's talk about that Because, trust me, once you know what to look for, you'll start recognizing them real quick.
Speaker 1:So, number one she gets uncomfortable when you talk about your wins. So it's like you start sharing good news and suddenly she goes quiet. No smile, no genuine excitement, just dry. Y'all know the dry ass type. Yeah, dry, like oh, that's cool. Or she flips the conversation back to her, or she knows a friend, or I know this person. She did the same thing. Mm-hmm, yeah, a real friend celebrates you loud.
Speaker 1:A frenemy gets real low energy when the spotlight is not on them. Yeah, number two she copies you but never gives you credit. You ever notice how she starts doing what you do after you do it. Mm-hmm, you launch something. She launches something. You show up with a new look. She's mirroring your same style the next week, but she'll never say it. Mm-mm Like. She'll never say girl, you inspired me. No, she moves like she thought of it first. That's not admiration, that's silent envy. Come on, come on.
Speaker 1:Number three let's call the third one. She always has something negative to say. Oh my gosh, the moment you share a win, here comes the shady comment you get a promotion and she's like they didn't even pay well over there in the first place. You post your man right On social media and she's like I hope he's not like the last one and I hope it lasts this time. And she's like I hope it's not like the last one and I hope it lasts this time. Or you know, like everything comes with a little jab dressed up as keeping it real. But don't get it twisted, that is hate in disguise. For real, that's what it is.
Speaker 1:The fourth thing is she shows up for your struggles but not your success. Because the thing is, she's front row when you're down bad, you know, texting, calling, showing concern. But when you're glowing, when you're winning, suddenly she's too busy. That's because your pain makes her feel needed, but your progress makes her feel, guess what? Insecure, insecure, yeah, I said that. The fifth thing is she's two-faced in different spaces Mm-hmm, one-on-one, she's all love. But get around a group and she switches up real quick, downplays your bond, tries to one-up you, throws little jabs to make herself look better. That's fake energy. Real friends are consistent, no matter who's in the room.
Speaker 1:Sixth thing is she checks in just to compare. She ain't calling to support you. She calling to scope you out, asking how things are going, not out of love, but to see where she stands next to you. It's not genuine concern, it's quiet competition. It's not genuine concern, it's quiet competition. And, baby, you don't need to compete with someone who shouldn't even be clapping.
Speaker 1:The seventh thing is she tries to keep you humble. You're finally feeling yourself, right, you know, stepping into your own confidence. And here she comes. And don't forget where you came from, girl, you doing way too much. You just sis why. You know, like, why is my glow up making you uncomfortable? Like, answer that why do I have to dim my light for you to shine? No, we can both shine at the same time. Okay, I ain't trying to rhyme, but you know. Whatever, all right.
Speaker 1:The eighth thing is her support always feels conditional. So the thing is she'll show love, but only if she's getting something out of it. If the attention's not mutual, she falls back, and if you're doing better than her, she disappears. That's not a friend, that's someone keeping score, and we don't do scoreboards in real sisterhood. Last but not least, you feel drained after interacting with her. I mean, you ever get off the phone or walk away from a convo with her and feel emotionally off, like heavy Girl that shows spirit, talking to you and real friendships fill your cup. A friend of me leaves you questioning your worth and you feel empty. Okay, she done, took everything you got out that cup baby. So yeah, you know I mean my personal story. You know always got to go there with my little personal journey. Y'all already know that.
Speaker 1:And let me tell you something I've had my fair share of frenemies. One situation in particular sticks with me. I had this friend I rode for, supported and genuinely wanted to see win right. But over time I started noticing little things. Whenever something good happened for me, she got real distant, and if I shared an idea, she'd suddenly have one too, or I gotta one-up you. And one day I found out she had been talking about me behind my back for months, spreading lies, downplaying my accomplishment and even trying to turn people against me. And that's when I realized this wasn't my friend, this was my competition. And I never even signed up to compete for anything, even signed up to compete for anything. And you know, the day I walked away from that so-called friendship was the day I truly freed myself from all that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So why don't frenemies exist? Why do people even act like this? Why pretend to be someone's friend Like deep down you're in if deep down you're envious? So here's some things that I've learned right.
Speaker 1:One thing is insecurity runs deep. You know, a lot of frenemies don't actually hate you. They hate themselves for not being where they want to be in life. Instead of working on themselves, they rather try to tear you down and keep you on that level. Another thing is they thrive on competition. Some people are just so used to competing with others that they don't know how to just be happy for someone. They see life as a race, and if you're ahead, that means they're losing. And the last thing here is they want access to your energy. Yes, frenemies don't want to lose you completely. They want to lose you completely. They want to stay close enough to see what you're doing, but not close enough to actually root for you. Yeah, so the thing is, I'm going to show you, tell you how to you can protect yourself from these frenemies, right? Because, um, yeah, you need to do that. You need to do that. Let's talk about how to protect yourself from that.
Speaker 1:Pay attention to your energy shifts. If you feel like something is off, it probably is. Trust that vibe and stop telling your business to everybody. Not everybody who listens to you is rooting for you. Hear me again Stop telling your business to everybody. Not everyone who listens to you is rooting for you. Move in silence and let your success speak for itself. Distance yourself without drama. You don't have to call someone out or have a big falling out. Just start pulling back slowly. Stop sharing everything with them, stop giving them access to your wins. Let them phase themselves out. Yeah, and find your real tribe of girls, your friends, true friends, who never make you feel small. Surround yourself with people who genuinely want to see you win, that genuinely want to see you win. Even when you call them, they're excited to be on the phone with you. You can literally feel the energy over the phone. You know that's a true, exciting friendship.
Speaker 1:Okay, y'all, I know this episode hit home for some of y'all, right, because frenemies they are out here and I know you've had some. But once you know what to look for, you can stop wasting your energy on fake love and start pouring into the people who truly got you. So tell me this have you ever had a frenemy? Yeah, and what was the moment you knew they really wasn't for you? I want you to drop a comment, dm me, email me. Let's talk about it and do me a favor If you know someone dealing with a fake friend, send them this episode, because nobody deserves to keep a snake in their circle. All right, so until next time, protect your energy, keep growing, keep glowing, never shrinking. Okay, as always, I'll see you on the next episode of Love, our Talks.
Speaker 1:I am your host, K Love, and again, you can find us on all streaming platforms, okay, whether it's iHeart Radio, itunes, spotify all of the streaming platforms, okay. And don't forget, if you are in a relationship and you're struggling, you need answers. You don't understand why your person is not communicating well with you, but you really love them, and things of that nature. Again, I'm an author and I create two books, one being Love Secret Code Unlocking the Mysteries to Relationships, and the other one is called Love Secret Playbook Okay, the Guide to Winning at Love. Both of those books are on Amazon. You can definitely go and grab them.
Speaker 1:Love Secret Playbook it is a workbook. It's a guide to help you if you're struggling. It helps you, guides you with it, gives you affirmations to help you build confidence. It also helps you understand what dating is about, how prepared to date Mentally you're getting prepared and also, when you're in the relationship, things you need to start talking about. Tips, advice it's all in that book. You do the work in that book, go check it out. It is definitely one to have in your possession. Okay, well, thank you again. And oh, before I go, before I go, you know, I want to say that each day holds a promise of a new beginning. So be better, do better and love harder than the day before. Your best days aren't behind you. They're being written today. So keep moving forward, because your potential is limitless. All right, love you guys. Bye.