Love Our Talks

The Journey from Hurt to Healing: Reclaiming Your Power After Friendship Breakups

• KLove • Season 2 • Episode 22

Share episode

Healing after friendship betrayals might be one of life's most underestimated emotional journeys. While we dedicate ice cream pints and tissue boxes to romantic breakups, the silent ending of a friendship often goes unprocessed – leaving wounds that fester beneath the surface of our daily lives.

"Sometimes you're not just grieving the person. You're grieving who you thought they were," I  share, cutting straight to the heart of why these losses hurt so deeply. This powerful finale to our friendship and family relationship series offers more than just comfort; it provides a practical roadmap for moving forward when someone you trusted has broken your heart.

Ready to transform your friendship pain into personal power? Join us for this soul-nourishing conversation about reclaiming your energy and still believing in connection – even after being hurt. Because the strongest healing doesn't turn us cold; it makes us wise enough to love again, but this time with boundaries that honor our growth.

We want to hear from you!

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

Speaker 1:

Hey, loves, welcome back to another episode of Love, our Talks I am your host, kayla where we dive into all things juicy here about love, dating relationships, entertainment and wellness. Yes, y'all, so we have made it to the end of the series. This is the final episode in our friendship and family relationship series and I just want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you who's been riding with me through this journey. Man, when I tell you, it's brought out so many emotions, so many thoughts and memories and things of that nature. But you know, we've talked about, you know the betrayal, the jealousy, you know the silent breakups and the fake friends. We peel back the layers and expose some real pain, y'all.

Speaker 1:

But on today, today we're shifting the energy because it's time to talk about the part that doesn't always get the spotlight and that's the healing process. That is the healing. So how do you move forward after being hurt by someone you loved? How do you let go of the resentment, the guilt, the disappointment and still keep your heart open? How do you do that? That's what we're getting into today because, no matter what you've been through, I want you to know you can heal, you really can, you can move forward and you can rebuild stronger than ever. And you can rebuild stronger than ever, yes, so go ahead, grab your wine, coffee, tea, smoothie or your drink of choice, because this one is about peace, clarity and reclaiming your power. Okay, so I hope what I'm putting down is helping someone right now, because it's helping me, y'all. It is really helping me to just, you know, think clearer and to be at peace with what's going on and what has happened.

Speaker 1:

And, like I said, let me be honest healing after betrayal it's not easy. It's not a switch that you flip off and on. It's not a switch that you flip off and on. It's a process. You know it comes with tears, setbacks, relapses, okay, and you're thinking and moments where you question everything. And that's okay, because healing is messy, yeah, but it's necessary.

Speaker 1:

And sometimes you're just not grieving the person. You're grieving who you thought they were. Yeah, you're grieving the version of the friendship or family you dreamt it would be, and that hurts. But, baby, let me tell you something you have every right to mourn it, just don't stay stuck in it, just like any relationship you've been in. You know, I talk to people, especially my husband, about you know life now and I reflect on those relationships that I've had with these young ladies over my years and I asked myself, and I was telling them I don't think I've ever sat back and really grieved the loss of that relationship. Because why is it any different than any other relationship? Because here's the thing if you have a relationship with the opposite sex, like a man, and y'all been together for 10 plus years, and now all of a sudden you guys break up, you're boohooing for days. You got the snot tissues and the box of Kleenex and the ice cream. You're going through a process. You're on that couch for days, shut out from the world, because you're going through an emotional process, because you've given your heart to that person, you're giving time, energy, space to that person. Why is it any different than a girlfriend that you have spent time with you, shared memories with you, shared conversations, deep conversations with you, shared your heart with, because you loved them at some point? Right, and you probably do still love them. But why is that any different? And so we have to heal, we have to go through that grieving process, right, we have to shed those tears and grieve and let it out so that we can begin the healing process and, like I said, the healing can be messy, but it is necessary. And sometimes you're not just, like I say, grieving the person, you're grieving who you thought they were, but you don't stay stuck there, you don't? So let's talk about some steps to healing and moving forward. Let's talk about some steps to healing and moving forward.

Speaker 1:

One thing is acknowledge what happened and how it made you feel. Yeah, and you know, stop downplaying what they did. Stop saying, oh, it wasn't that bad. If it hurt, it hurt. Okay. If that's what it was, it hurt. Acknowledge the truth. It's the first step of realizing it. Okay.

Speaker 1:

And the second thing is let go of that fantasy, because here's the thing we hold. Sometimes we hold on to people because of the history, the potential or the good times, but if who they are today is hurting you, let go of that fantasy and accept the reality. That's when real healing begins. It's in the mind. You have to accept that. The third thing is stop seeking closure from the one who hurt you. Y'all, I need to hear that one myself. Right? Let me say that. Stop seeking closure from the one who hurt you. Closure is an inside job, okay, some people will never give you the apology, the explanation or the accountability you deserve, but you can still choose to heal without it. Yeah, so the fourth thing is set new boundaries, going forward. Healing isn't just about letting go, it's about protecting your future as well. Start setting your boundaries so that honor your growth.

Speaker 1:

Not everyone deserves access to you, and I know y'all heard that before. Not everyone deserves access to you, and I know y'all heard that before. Not everyone deserves access to you Facts. Fifth thing is pour back into yourself, reclaim your energy. Do the things that light up you again Journaling, praying, traveling, resting, laughing, reconnecting with you. Laughing, reconnecting with you. Take yourself on a spa day. Okay, go get a massage, get your feet massaged, felt on. You know, do the thing, because the best revenge is not bitterness, it's peace and elevation. Think about that project that you've been wanting to work on, that you then put back on the back burner because you were so busy running around with that young girl over there. You know your friend over there. You know chasing after what they wanted to do. Now it's time for you.

Speaker 1:

So y'all look, my healing journey was, you know it's like I said, it has definitely been a journey. It has definitely been a journey. Y'all know I'm not just talking from a place of theory. Right, this has been my life. I have been hurt, I have been betrayed and you know, drinking some water here, mouth is getting a little dry but I've been betrayed, yeah, and I've been hurt and I've cried over friends I thought were my forever friends. These were, I thought BFF. Right, I thought that's what that meant Best friends forever. I literally thought BFF is what I had in these people and I've questioned my worth because of how people treated me. Maybe it's me. What did I do wrong? Why don't they like me? Well, I can you know, no, don't do that.

Speaker 1:

But I made a decision. I wasn't going to let that pain turn me cold. I wasn't going to let broken people break me. I chose to do the work. I'm still doing the work and I'm still healing. I'm still doing the work and I'm still healing.

Speaker 1:

And even on the days when I didn't feel I don't you know, I don't feel the strongest I remind myself I'm still here and, trina, you are still worthy and I still believe in love, in friendship, in sisterhood I really strongly do and in family and in myself. And if I can heal, so can you. I'm going to give you like some words of affirmation, real quick, right? So say these words, right, say this with me, and you can say these daily, and they're simple, right. I release what no longer serves me. I am worthy of genuine love and support. I no longer chase people who choose not to see my value and I protect my peace unapologetically. I attract healthy, aligned relationships into my life. I deserve love and the kind of love that I give.

Speaker 1:

Okay, say those things because you know, sometimes you need to motivate yourself and speak those things over you and, like I said, you know this is the end of the episode and I don't want to hold you with this one. I'm just so excited to have covered these topics here with you guys because it has been something that has weighed on me, something that I needed to talk about. I needed to release myself and I would feel like you know sometimes, oh, it's just me, I'm the only one that's going through this, but I've talked to multiple women and so many women over these past weeks coming up and it's not just me, I'm not the only one. There are so many women out here that have had friendships, silent breakups, jealous friends, toxic friends, and I'm understanding how all this works, and it's not just me. And, that being said, I want to work on building a community of women so we can support each other.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and so be on the lookout for something great from Katrina Love. Okay For me. Okay, love. Be on the lookout for that, because that is. I'm about sisterhood, I'm about love period, even though my last name is Love, I really, truly am about love, whether it's relationship wise with you know, helping others with their relationships, finding love and so forth, and also building love with sisterhood. I'm all about love in general.

Speaker 1:

So, like I said, I'm glad that you made it to this episode and I hope you're walking away with a little more strength, a little more clarity and a whole lot of love for yourself. And, like I said, this series wasn't about bashing or bitterness. It was about truth, healing and real talk, because sometimes the powerful thing you can do is admit yes, I was hurt, but I'm still here and I'm healing right. So, thank you, thank you, thank you again for listening, for sharing your stories and for growing with me. This is just the beginning. So, again, protect your energy, your peace, take care of your heart and don't be afraid to move forward, even if you're still healing along the way, just like me.

Speaker 1:

So until next time, I'm sending you love, peace and all the healing vibes, and I'll see you on the next episode, which I am continuing with a discussion with a young lady. And this young lady, when I tell you, just, you got to stay tuned. For the next episode, we're going to continue a little bit more with the sisterhood talk, but I want to bring on um some one-on-one conversations with people and I want you guys to be there to hear these conversations. So please don't forget to tune back into Love Our Talks. Tell a friend and tell the other friend, tell somebody that needs to hear this, that wants to hear this and that is looking to find support in this. Okay, so again, thank you guys for tuning in to Love Our Talks. I'm your host, kayla, and please don't forget to stay blessed y'all All right Bye.