Love Our Talks

Are You Looking for Wisdom or Just a Yes-Person?

• KLove

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There's a critical difference between seeking genuine advice and simply wanting validation for decisions we've already made. K-Love explores why we often call friends hoping they'll co-sign our choices and get defensive when they offer honest feedback instead.

• Support doesn't always sound like agreement—sometimes it sounds like challenging questions that make us think deeper
• Real friends tell you what you need to hear, not just what you want to hear
• Personal story about a friend who initially rejected honest advice but later appreciated the truth
• Biblical wisdom from Proverbs 27:6 about faithful wounds of friends versus deceitful kisses of enemies
• Growth doesn't happen in comfort zones—you can't heal and hide simultaneously
• Applying these principles to romantic relationships can strengthen communication
• Stop mistaking advice for validation and be open to feedback that challenges your ego

Grab your "Minding my God-Given Business" t-shirt at Theloveplacenet. Be bold in your healing, brave in who you're becoming, and grounded in love that knows its worth.


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Speaker 1:

Hey, loves, welcome back to another episode of Love, our Talks. I'm your girl K-Love, your certified matchmaker and love advisor, and today, you know we got to talk about something that hits deep, but you know it needs to be said, because we've all either been that person or we picked up the phone for that person, okay, so this episode y'all is called. You Don't Need Advice, you Need Validation. So is that why you called me? And, baby, I say that with love. I say that with love.

Speaker 1:

You ever notice how, you know, some people will call you up like they're asking you for advice, but they've already made up their mind. You know they're not looking for wisdom, they're not. They're just looking for someone who can co-sign right what they already decided to do. And when you respond, and when your response doesn't match their plan, respond. And when your response doesn't match their plan, baby, now they got a real. They get all real quiet or real defensive. You know what I'm saying. So let me be clear about something I am not that friend, I am not that girl, I am not your yes, crew. Okay, I'm your real one. I give you the truth with love, but I don't sugarcoat it just to make you feel better about something your spirit already told you wasn't right. So let's talk about something real quick the difference between support and agreement. Support doesn't always sound like agreement. Sometimes support sounds like you sure about this, like for real. Also, what does your piece say about what you're doing? And sometimes it can sound like what I love to do is, girl, you know, I love you. Okay, too much to be silent while you ignore your own worth. Uh-huh, uh-huh. But see, when folks ain't ready to face themselves, see they call, hoping to hear what they want, not what they need. That's not advice, that's affirmation for a decision. They ain't even sure about themselves.

Speaker 1:

So, you know, I like to tell y'all the personal stories or whatever you know. So you know, y'all, I was minding my God-given business for real. So I was just, you know, having a chill day, right, you know how you can be watching Netflix, you can be binge watching, or you can just be busy doing something that you enjoy. So I get a phone call from a friend. Now I could already tell she wasn't really asking for help, but she wasn't, you know. She wanted me to kind of like say she was right. But I just couldn't y'all. I just I couldn't do that because what she was doing didn't align with the woman I know she is. So I just said, sis, you know I love you, right, you deserve better. And you know you deserve better. And I explained. You know, it's like I had to go in a little bit of detail and we talked a little bit more about it and she kind of got quiet, you know, like you know, she didn't want to hear it and, yeah, I knew this was going to happen because it's happened before. So I didn't hear from her for a minute after that. But let me tell you something.

Speaker 1:

A while went by, you know. She came back later and said you know, sis, look, I wasn't ready to hear it then, but I am glad you told me the truth. See, that's what real love looks like. That's what real love looks like. That's what real friendship looks like. Your girls are supposed to have your back period. So for my ladies and my fellas out there because this, you know, convo is not just gender specific. So, ladies, you do it, and fellas, you know you do it, and fellas, you know you do this too.

Speaker 1:

So y'all, you know, when you call someone you trust and get mad when they won't stroke your ego, you know, because that's what you wanted to boost your ego. That's all you're calling for is to get your ego boosted, you know. But that's the thing. Growth doesn't happen in comfort. You can heal and you can't heal and hide at the same time. And truth is that's why some people ghost me after a conversation. I mean it is what it is, because sometimes the truth cuts and it hurts. So the fact of the matter is, you know it's cutting off the lies so you can heal. That's what I'm here for.

Speaker 1:

So you know, in the Bible it says Proverbs 27 and 6. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. So what that means is your real ones won't always say what you want to hear, but they'll say what's real, and that's love. You know on a deeper level, and you got to embrace that y'all. You got to start embracing that. So something that I want you guys to kind of do is like just stop mistaking advice for validation and stop being mad at people who love you enough to say, hey, this ain't it, boo, this ain't it.

Speaker 1:

And if you truly want wisdom, be open to hearing something that might check your ego, because that's how you grow, that's how you separate surface level friends from soul level friends, and you can also use this in your relationship with your partner. Because my thing is this if your partner says, hey, I want to be a better man, or I want to be a better woman to you, how are you going to receive the information that they're telling you, even if it hurts? They have to be truthful, right? So if you want to be better, when you want to know what it is that you can improve on and you may not want to hear it, but you have to hear it because if you really want to improve and you may not want to hear it, but you have to hear it because if you really want to improve, so you know it's not you know, stop trying to get your ego strokes and feel better about these crazy decisions that you're trying to make, because the shit ain't cool. So you know look, I digress I'm your girl, you know your certified matchmaker, and I just want to always bring you some real conversations, real talks. So if this hits for you, send this to that one person who keeps calling for advice but ain't ready to hear it and listen. Before I go.

Speaker 1:

I got to plug something that has been close to my heart recently. If you ever just been out in the world, just outside, grocery shopping or whatever, just minding your God-given business, okay, and life still came knocking. People keep bothering you, people keep wanting to start things. You just want to mind your business. You, baby girl or fella, you need to grab that shirt, okay, that shirt that matches that mood. Grab your Mindsing my God Given Business t-shirt. You know where to get it Theloveplacenet, okay. This is more than just a fashion statement, baby. It is a whole lifestyle, because around here we do truth, we do healing and we do love and we protect our peace while minding our God-given business. So leave you with this Be bold in your healing and brave in who you're becoming, and grounded in love that knows its worth. So until next time, keep growing, keep glowing and never settle for less than real. All right, I'm your girl. K-love Bye.