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Love Our Talks
I'm your host KLove, we dive into juicy topics about love, relationships, dating, wellness and entertainment. We will also have special guests that will join the conversation.
Love Our Talks
He's Good to You, but is He Good for You???
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship that looks perfect on paper, yet deep down, your spirit feels unsettled? That nagging feeling isn't wrong – it's wisdom trying to break through.
This powerful exploration delves into the critical distinction between partners who are simply "good to you" versus those who are genuinely "good for you." We've been conditioned to celebrate the absence of negative behaviors – he doesn't cheat, he's respectful, he has a good job – treating these basics as the full picture of love rather than merely its foundation. But this mindset leads us to confuse peace with purpose and mistake the absence of pain for the genuine presence of joy.
The real danger isn't found in obviously toxic relationships but in complacent partnerships that exist without passion or depth. These connections often feature partners who go through the motions – buying flowers, planning dates – while never truly seeing your ambitions, dreams, or authentic self. Over time, this emotional malnourishment can cause you to dim your light, shrinking your dreams and silencing your passions because your partner doesn't understand them. You might gradually disconnect from your authentic self to maintain a relationship that was never designed for your growth.
God didn't bring you through past challenges for you to settle for "almost" or become comfortable with lukewarm love. The love you truly deserve should feel like purpose, destiny, and home simultaneously, with a partner who isn't intimidated by your light but holds up a mirror so you can witness your own brilliance. Trust your intuition when it signals misalignment, even when everything looks right on paper – that quiet voice isn't doubt but your future self advocating for the complete love you deserve.
Follow, like, share, and join our growing community as we continue this conversation with upcoming video podcasts featuring guest speakers sharing real stories and wisdom. Remember: you deserve peace, purpose, and true partnership all at once.
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Thank you joining Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!
Hey, loves, welcome back to another episode of Love, our Talks. I'm your host, k-love, your certified matchmaker and love advisor, and today you know what we gotta talk about something, something that hits pretty deep but needs to be said y'all, and in this episode it's called he's Good to you, but Is he Good for you? Mm-hmm, yeah, yeah, that part. So my thing is this you ever been in a relationship that looks perfect on paper? You know he's nice, calls you beautiful, he's. You know he's got a good job, he opens doors and he's not out here in the streets, right, he doesn't raise his voice or put hands on you, and when you talk to your friends about it, they say girl, what are you complaining about? He's a good man, but deep down, you feel like I just feel something's missing. You feel it and you're sitting there with this perfect man. It's other people, okay, but your spirit feels unsettled. Baby, let's talk about that feeling.
Speaker 1:We've been taught to look for the absence or of like bad behavior as the definition of a good relationship. Right, he doesn't cheat, he doesn't hit you, he doesn't curse me out, right, and while those things are the bare minimum, the foundation, not the whole house, though, so we settle for them as the full picture. Now we confuse peace with purpose. We confuse absence of pain with the presence of joy. So just because he's good to you, it doesn't mean he's good for you. There's a difference between being treated nicely and being treated with real alignment. See, some of y'all are with men who do all the right things right. Between being treated nicely and being treated with real alignment, See, some of y'all are with men who do all the right things right, they buy you flowers, they take you out on dinner dates, but you know they don't truly see you. You know what I'm talking about. They don't see your fire, your ambition, your like, your wild dreams. They don't see your fire, your ambition, your wild dreams. They don't challenge you no-transcript. So you're emotionally hungry, but you've got someone feeding you just crumbs, with a smile, mm-hmm, calling it a feast.
Speaker 1:Right, you know what's worse than toxic love? Complacent love that's just there no fire, no death, just vibes and routine. He may not be hurting you, but he's also not healing you either. This love should feel like healing, not just settling. See, he's your comfort zone, not your calling. You deserve a love that feels like a homecoming Okay, Not a hiding place. Partnership that fuels your purpose, not one that puts it on a shelf.
Speaker 1:You know a man who isn't intimidated by your life, but who holds a mirror up to you so you can see your own brilliance, your own worth. Baby, I'm telling you, I'm telling you and I get it. You know, I get the. I get that part. You know he's a good man. I get all that.
Speaker 1:See, it's hard to leave somebody who treats you decent, right, especially when you've had worse. And we look at that good man and we think, well, at least he not like my ex. Think well, at least he not like my ex. But don't you let that past trauma trick you into settling for a present that doesn't deserve you. That's like staying in a job you hate, okay, just because you once had a boss who yelled at you You're not crazy, sis, because that little voice in your gut, in your head, that ain't it. That's not doubt. That's your future, self whispering you were made for better, you were made for more. You deserve it.
Speaker 1:Okay, see, the biggest danger here isn't a broken heart, it's a shrunken spirit. It's you slowly starting to dim your own light, to fit into a life that's not just okay. Just start shrinking your dreams because he doesn't understand them and you stop talking about the things that light you up because you just you know he just don't get it. See your silence, your own soul, to maintain a peace that's really just a quiet void. And you stop growing to keep a relationship that was never meant for you in the first place. It just wasn't meant for your growth.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, listen, look, you can respect somebody right and still recognize that they don't belong in your destiny. Y'all they don't. And you can appreciate the chapter they brought into your life, the lessons. You know the growth and the moments of peace and the fun times that you had, and still understand that they're not meant to stay for the long haul, because not every relationship y'all is meant to be the one. You heard this Some people are just lessons, mirrors or just bridges, and that's okay. Let that be okay, because your purpose is not for you to shrink, it's for you to expand.
Speaker 1:See, god didn't bring you this far for you to settle for almost. He didn't save you from the flames just for you to get comfortable with you. Know, lukewarm. See, stop staying out of guilt and stop shrinking to keep comfort. You were created for a love that lifts you up, not just a love that doesn't knock you down just because he ain't doing it. You deserve a love that feels like a purpose, a love that feels like it's destiny and a love that feels like home.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I want you to step into your work, trust that gut feeling, trust it and walk toward the love that is good for you, and know that on the other side of that comfortable silence is a love so loud and beautiful it will make your spirit just sing, y'all. It would just make you sing. You'll be walking around smiling for no reason, okay, like you just got a whole smile on your face and people just see the glow coming from you. Okay, I'm telling you, I'm telling you you will know that feeling when you truly, truly have Okay. So thank you all for joining me on Love Our Talks.
Speaker 1:And if this episode spoke to you, I mean really started something in your spirit, then take a moment to reflect on it and don't forget to follow, like, share and tag me. Okay, because you know we got those Minds of my God Giving Business tees and sweatshirts out there, okay. Okay, because you know we got those minds of my God giving business tees and sweatshirts out there. Okay, we got more good merchandise coming, more apparel designs coming for you guys.
Speaker 1:I'm so excited with everything, because you know what the thing is the truth, god's love for you will never come in confusion, inconsistency or crumbs. We ain't doing no crumbs. No, give me the whole thing, okay. So you deserve peace, purpose and partnership all at the same time. So do the soul work, get still, Figure out what you need, not just what you want. And we also have some more exciting news for you guys we will be doing more video podcasts and you know, this time we will have guests. Yes, guests join our show, okay, bringing you real stories, advice, just real talk, just real talk, y'all. So until next time, I'm your host, kayla, and I'll catch you on the next one. Bye.