Love Our Talks

"Cuffing Season or Real Connection?

• KLove • Season 3 • Episode 6

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The weather turns crisp, your DMs light up, and suddenly everyone wants to get cozy. We dig into the rhythms of cuffing season—why it hits every fall, how shorter days and holiday pressure shape our choices, and where comfort can quietly slide into confusion. From the first hey stranger to the March fade, we map the patterns that repeat like clockwork and share a practical way to keep your heart clear without shutting down joy.

Along the way, we talk about the real perks of a winter bae—company parties, warm rides, easier weekends—without pretending perks equal partnership. You’ll learn how to spot a seasonal placeholder, set boundaries that reduce mixed signals, and read consistency as the metric that matters. The goal is not to be hard; it’s to be wise. Choose with intention, communicate with courage, and let actions confirm the story.

If this message hits home or reminds you of someone navigating cuffing season, share it. Follow the show, tag me with your favorite moments, and drop a review with one takeaway you’re claiming this winter. Your clarity helps others find theirs—subscribe, share, and tell me: are you playing for cozy comfort or lasting connection?

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SPEAKER_00:

Y'all, is it that time of season again? You know what I'm talking about? Like that cuffing season? Yeah. Hey loves, welcome back to Love Our Talks. I'm your host, K Love, your certified matchmaker and love advisor. And I'm so glad you're here with me today. Just beyond excited. But I got something to talk to y'all about. So I want y'all to go ahead and get settled in, grab your wine, your tea, your coffee, smoothie, because that's my favorite, your drink of choice. And let's go ahead and let's get into it. Because we gotta talk. Okay? Now let me ask you something. Have you ever noticed that the minute the weather changes and it gets a little crisp and a little brisk outside, your DMs start heating up. Mm-hmm. It's cold outside, but your DMs are like on fire. So you notice how that old fling you haven't heard from since like June suddenly comes back looking to get all cozy. And all of a sudden, that Mr. I'm not looking for anything serious. It's hitting everybody with a hey stranger, what you doing this weekend? Hey gorgeous, good morning, gorgeous. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. You know, y'all know, okay, and you know what time it is. Baby, it's cuffing season. And today we're gonna get all the way into it, what it is, and how to make sure you're protecting your heart without missing out on a real blessing, y'all. So for anybody who's new to the game, let's be clear, real clear. Cuffing season is that time of year, usually from like early fall till about like Valentine's Day, where people who would normally be single suddenly want to be all booed up. Mm-hmm. And you gotta ask yourself something. Why does this happen every single year like clockwork? Well, I figure like it's part science and part like social pressure. No, your body is telling you to find some warmth. Okay, the sun is setting like four or five o'clock, depending on where you live, making you feel like all kinds of lonely. And you know, especially around November, it's Thanksgiving time. It's like family time. You got that one auntie, nosy auntie, right? You know, if you show up solo, she's single, she's gonna be all up in your business asking you why you're still single. Baby, when I tell you that's a setup, it's a setup. And I'm telling you, it's this deep instinctual need to not be alone when the world outside feels cold and gray. And on the surface, there's nothing wrong with that at all. Now look, see, I ain't gonna lie to you, having a winter bae has its perks. Trust me, it does. Because I have a husband, okay? So either a bae or a husband. You got a built-in plus one, y'all, for all the company holiday parties, for any specialty events, you know, someone to split the Uber with if you Uber rings to different places, or you got that husband that's always making sure he picks you up front door service. He already hit that seat warmer button when he went to go get the car, okay? He gets out, opens your door, make sure you're in, baby. Nice, tucked in the car, cozy. Especially when you live, okay. Man, you need that warm body if you live in Chicago. Because that Chicago winter wind chill, y'all know it's always being freaking disrespectful. And I ain't mad at it, but it can be nice and it could feel good, but you gotta have that that that body next to you. But here's where that part gets messy. You know, um, you can get so caught up in the cozy vibes, you know, the Netflix and chill nights, the lazy Sunday mornings, that you ignore the fact that y'all are not actually compatible. You're just what? Convenience? You're a placeholder for the season. It's like an invisible expiration date, you know, that like that elephant in the room type of thing that nobody wants to talk about. So when March rolls around and he's suddenly finding himself again, you're left with your feelings all twisted up. And we're not doing it this year again, going into 2026, baby. So, how do we play the game without getting played? I got you. I got you. So, straight from K Love's playbook, here are three rules to move smart, okay? Number one, check in with you before you even reply to that. Hey, you uh text, you need to pour a glass of whatever you're drinking. Sit with yourself and ask, what do I want? Not what your mom wants, not your friends. You are you just trying to have a little fun for a few months to keep the bed warm? I mean, and you can handle it, or are you genuinely looking for your person, a real lasting connection? You know, there's no right or wrong answer here, but you've got to be honest with yourself so you don't end up trying to turn a seasonal renter into a home buyer, a homeowner. Know your goal before you even get on the field. Okay. Rule number two, use your words. Honey, we're not assuming anything in 2025. Going into 2026, baby, we are grown. We've kind of been grown, right? So we have to talk to these people. I mean, you can keep it cute, you can keep it all light, but you have to be clear. After a couple of uh nice dates, you can absolutely ask. So, hey, look, I'm enjoying this. I'm just curious, what are you hoping for this fall and winter? Now, if he starts stuttering, looking all at the ceiling and looking around like he's searching for something, or gives you some type of vague answer about, you know, just seeing where things go, or I'm not trying to put a label on it. That is information right there. And a man who wants you for real will not be confused about it. Okay, so listen to what he's telling you and what he's not telling you. And that brings me to the most important rule of them all: rule number three. Watch their feet, not their mouth. What I mean by that is talk is cheap, baby. And Lord knows it gets cheaper when it's cold outside. I want you to pay attention to the effort, what he's doing, his actions. Is he just hitting you up on a Tuesday night to come watch a movie? Or is he trying to make you out, I mean, take you out on a real date on like a Saturday? Okay, because that's when everybody out typically. Different restaurants and all this good stuff. And you don't know who you may run into. Okay? Is he introducing you to his people? Is he also making plans with you for after the holidays? Talking about, you know, taking you on different going to different concerts in like April or on a trip in May? See, a man who sees a future with you will act like it. A man who just sees you as a his winter warm buddy will keep you in a little bubble that doesn't extend past his front door. Period. So, to my loves out there, okay, here's the bottom line. Cuffing season can be fun. It's up to you. Up to you what you decide. But don't let a temporary desire or comfort block you from the long-term love you desire. And you have to remember, you are the prize, season or no season. Don't you ever forget that. Okay? And I want to thank you all for joining me with this conversation. And if this episode hits you or you know someone that's going through this or going to do this, share this with someone who needs a reminder. And don't forget to follow, like, and tag me. Tag me because if you are wearing, okay, the merch, the apparel from my line, minding my god, giving business, whether it's the t-shirt or the tee or the hat, look, y'all, tag me because I want to see y'all in y'all's little fits, okay? I want to see what you paired it with. And I want you to keep walking in your purpose and let them watch you. Just don't let them distract you. And until next time, I'm your host, K Love. And remember to be bold in your healing, brave in who you're becoming, and grounded in the love that knows it's worth. And until next time, keep growing, keep glowing, and never settle for less than real. All right, bye.