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“Let’s Be Clear: We’re Not Doing SITUATIONSHIPS Anymore”

• KLove • Season 3 • Episode 8

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In this episode of Love Our Talks, K Love dives into why situationships are officially canceled and why clarity is no longer optional in dating and relationships. From being “chill” and “seeing where it goes” to standing on business, this conversation breaks down the importance of Clear-Coding, emotional maturity, and knowing what you want before getting emotionally invested. This episode will make you reflect on the relationships you’re in — and the ones you’re about to get into — and remind you that confusion is not chemistry. If it’s not clear, it’s a no.


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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome, welcome back to Love Our Talks, y'all. I'm your host, K Love, your certified matchmaker and love advisor. And listen, y'all, this episode today, this one is long overdue. You know, we're talking about why people are finally done guessing, waiting, and pretending not to want what they want. This episode is called, let's be clear, we're not doing situationships anymore. Period. Okay. You know, like I said, this one is long overdue. So I need y'all to go ahead and grab your wine, your tea, your coffee, smoothie, or your drink of choice. Sit back and relax because this one is going to make you think about the relationship you're in or the ones you're about to get into. So let's go ahead, let's get on into it. So for the long, for the longest time, you know, people were taught that being chill was the goal. That let's just see where it goes was somehow like the move, right? Um the thing is, like, I want to know what where they do that at, period. Where they do that at? Like, it's okay to just be there. You know, I and I want to know how that worked out for you if you were in that situation ship like that. You know, the three-month situationships with the no clarity, no commitment, but somehow you got all the responsibility. Yeah, nah, we're not doing that anymore. We're not. So let's go ahead and dead that right now. We're just gonna kill it, okay? The situationship. Let's be clear about what's officially being left behind. You know, that space where nothing is defined, everything is implied, and you're constantly trying to read between the lines that shouldn't even exist. You know, um, it's more than friends, less than a relationship, and a heavy and it's heavy on confusion. You know, you know what's going on in that person's mind. You know, and the people, and the reason people are done with it, they're just burned out right now. People are just all burnt out. You know, I look online and I see a lot of people commenting about relationships and dating sites and everything like that. And so many people are just exhausted and they're tired, you know, of just this whole cycle, right? So I am here to just try to help you guys figure this stuff out. You know, people, like I said, are tired of investing emotional energy, time, access into something that never had a real direction. See, that casual start, you know, that casual started sounding like a lot like I want access without accountability. That ain't cool. And once people start calling that out, the illusion broke. Because here's the truth nobody is trying to be a placeholder anymore. And a main character does not stay stuck in a supporting role in someone else's unfinished story. And no one is signing up for unpaid emotional and internships, pretty much. So, yes, the situationship era is officially over, y'all. It's 2026. Call it what it is. Be clear about what you're talking about. And what we're saying, when I say clear, let's talk about clear coding. Okay? Let me tell you what that really is. Clear coding isn't complicated, it's simply being upfront about what you want, what you're open to, and what you're not before feelings get involved. You wouldn't take a job without knowing the title or the pay, right? And you wouldn't sign a lease without knowing the terms. So why are people still walking into emotional connections, acting like clarity is optional? See, let me also tell you clear coding looks like you know, saying you want commitment if that's what you want. Say that. Saying you're only um open to something casual if that's your truth. If you just want that, say that. And also saying what your non-negotiables are, pretty much early on, calmly and say it confidently. Because, you know, let's be clear on those things. That's what I mean by clear coding. This isn't about being rigid, it's about being respectful of your time and theirs. And yes, you know, it might feel uncomfortable at first, especially for the people who were taught that um wanting clarity was doing too much, but confidence is your desire. It is not doing too much, I'm telling you. It's emotional maturity, and a lot of people don't look at it that way, you know. Um, so I had a friend recently going through something like this. You know, she was dealing with someone who um loved her energy, loved her company, loved her presence. But the moment she acts, you know that question. What are we actually doing here? The energy, you know, it shifted. He said things like, you know, why do why do we need labels? Why do labels matter? Let's just see where it goes. You know, why are you rushing into things? And I told her, you know, you're not rushing. You're just asking for clarity, for your own clarity, your own mental, your own time. Okay, the moment she stood firm in what she wanted, you know what he did? He pulled back. And listen, that wasn't rejection, that was information. And it was information that she needed to know. So she knows how to move, right? See, clear coding didn't scare the right person away, it exposed the wrong one. Yeah. See, the three pillars of clear coding. One is self-clarity comes first. You can't communicate clarity. I'm sorry, you can't communicate clearly with someone else if you haven't been honest with yourself. What do you actually want? What are your deal breakers? And what are you no longer willing to tolerate just to avoid being alone? See that clarity becomes your compass. If you don't know your standards, anyone can set the tone for you. And so number two is saying it early. See, clear coding doesn't wait months down the line, it shows up early in conversation, in dating profiles, and how questions are answered. When someone asks you, What are you looking for? You know, they ask you that. Clarity sounds like, I'm looking for a committed relationship, partnership, or I'm only open to something casual right now. See, no long explanations, no over justifying, you know, just honesty. That's what that looks like. And so, number three thing is the third thing is trust the hard pivot, right? Trust the hard pivot. See, this is where people struggle. You know, everyone is not going to like your clarity, okay? And that's the point. If someone pulls back, disappears, or ghosts you, and gets uncomfortable once you state your code, your clear code, that's not a loss for you. That is information you need it. Okay? You don't chase clarity, you don't negotiate your standards. You just pivot and you move on. Pretty much, you move around. Go on about your business. See, the mystery was never romance. Let's do let me clear this up. Clear coding does not kill romance. What people call mystery was often just anxiety. Wondering if they text me, you know, wondering if wondering where that you stood, you know, where do they stand? Okay, wondering if you were asking for too much. That's not chemistry. That's confusion, y'all. Real romance is built on security, consistency, and mutual intention. Clarity isn't cold, it's a green flag, okay? And people are finally choosing peace over potential. Now, I told y'all about dating potential. Y'all go back in those episodes because I we talked about that. All right. So, my final thoughts on this is just be the standard, okay? So here's just, you know, just take this with you. Stop shrinking just to stay connected to somebody and stop being a maybe because you're afraid of sounding like it's too much. You're not too much, babes. Okay, you're just being clear. And clarity doesn't scare the right person. Again, it does not scare the right person. It scares the confused ones, okay? That don't know what the heck they're doing, don't know what the heck they want out of life or out of a relationship. So if they are doing you like that, what else are they doing in their life? What are they doing in their work life? How are they treating other people, right? So think about that. If someone can handle, if they cannot handle your clear code, they're simply not in line with where you're going. Choose clarity, y'all. Choose clarity over chaos. Every single time. All right? Every single time. And as always, I want to thank y'all for sitting here with me on Love Our Talks again. You know, whether you're listening with your wine, your coffee, your tea or smoothie, or whatever you drink or whatever you're doing, I just want you guys to know that I appreciate you being here. I appreciate you supporting my channel and supporting Love Our Talks. Okay. So if this episode resonated with you, or you know someone that it will help out, share it. Just share it with those people. Share with someone who needs to hear it. Okay, and let me know what your thoughts are on clear coding. Because in this whole situation ships it ending that whole error. All right. So until next time, I'm your host, K Love, and protect your peace, honor your standards, and keep choosing real love first. All right, bye.