HE SPUN THE BLOCK, BUT LOVE DON’T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!

We talk about what it really means when an ex comes back after you have healed, and why that moment can hit like an emotional trigger instead of a love story. We break down the reasons he returns, how it messes with your peace, and how we choose boundaries over repeating the same cycle. 
• naming the pain of being left and the self-blame that can follow 
• recognizing why he “spins the block” after your glow up 
• spotting ego, comfort, and loneliness disguised as love 
• understanding the emotional tug of war and “what if” thinking 
• refusing to confuse a comeback with real change 
• holding boundaries and choosing peace over confusion 
• asking the hard question: would you take him back now 
make sure you share this with somebody who needs this reminder. 

NEW UPDATES: Where I've been and what I've been up to. 
So definitely go check out my website, katrinalove.com. 

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

Transcript

Welcome Back And Set The Mood

He Spun The Block Theme

Why He Left And How It Hurt

Why Men Come Back Around

The Emotional Trigger And Tug

Return Does Not Equal Change

Boundaries, Peace, And Self Worth

Would You Take Him Back]

New Music Projects And Website

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hey, hey, hey, loves. Welcome back. I know it's been a while. Welcome back to Love Art Talks. I'm your host, Kay Love, Certified Matchmaker and Love Advisor. And I am so happy to be back with another episode today. I know it's been a while. Your girl has been working on a lot of good, good, good things, okay? Some exciting things. And I will share that at the end of this. But for now, I need for you to go and grab your wine, your coffee, your tea, your smoothie, your drink of choice. Because we're about to get into something that's real today. And this is a topic that keeps on circulating, okay? Keeps on circulating. The topic of today is he spun the block. But love, don't live here no more. Not at all. Because let's be honest, why is it that a man always seems to come back around after you finally moved on? You've healed and you got to your peace space. You got your peace back. But more importantly, why does what does that do to you emotionally when he does that? Okay. So I want to go ahead and let's dive on in. Let's get let's talk about this. So when he left the first time, um, before we even get into this, you know, him coming back thing, let's talk about what happened. And let's not skip over that because we want to know why he left. You know, because that part, that's where the real story kind of begins, right? Um when he walked away. You know, how did you feel about that? You know, were you hurt? Were you confused, questioning like everything, what's going on? You know, you were sitting there like, what did I do wrong? And a lot of women do that. They point the finger back at themselves as if they're the ones to blame. Why wasn't I enough? How do I just walk away from, how does he just walk away from me like that? Like it meant nothing to him. And let's be real. There were nights you cried, days you had to push through, and moments you missed him even when you knew he wasn't right for you. But what people don't see is now, you know, you did the work, you healed, you pull yourself back together, and you start choosing you first, even when it hurts. Even when it hurt, girl. So why he spins the block is what we want to know. Now, you know, let's talk about that. Now that you're finally okay, you're glowing again, you're not pressed anymore, and here he comes, spinning a block. Like, where you come out of the blue? So let's go ahead, let's break down why. He thought, what, you'd always be there? He assumed you were an option that he could just revisit. Let me, you know, leave her sitting right here. I'll be back. You know? Or, you know, the thing is your glow up could have triggered him. You look better, you feel better, and your energy shifted from not feeling weighed down, dealing with all that mess, right? Um, or could it be an ego thing for him? He wants to see if he still has access to you. Because you know a lot of guys love to boost their own ego, period. You know, because guess what? You could also be familiar. You know, new situations didn't work out. Not like he planned it or thought it would. So he comes back to what feels safe. Whomever he was with, you know, it's just like I said, it didn't work out. And you're you are someone who's familiar. Okay, you're who he's familiar with. Almost like home. Your comfort. But the timing of it all, hmm. Yeah. Now he's ready. But that doesn't mean he's changed. That's the thing. It does not mean he's changed. So, how do you feel about that when he comes back in your life? Now, this is the part nobody wants to talk about. You know, when he does spin the block. It's not just a text, it's not just a call. That feeling, it's an emotional trigger. Your mind starts racing, you know. Now you're thinking, why now? Is this real or is this another cycle? You know, do I trust this? And am I about to hurt myself again with him? Because one thing about you, you remember everything, right? And a lot of people too, we tend to hold on to certain things that should we, right? Should we? You know, that emotional tug of war, that's what you're about to go through. There's a battle happening inside of you now, and the version of you that was hurt says, Don't do this again. The version of you that once loved him says, But what if this time is different? You know, and that right there, you know, sis, that's not weakness. That's emotional history. But the thing is, you're not the same woman anymore. And this is where the shift happens because when he comes back, he's expecting the same woman he left. But that woman, oh, she's different. Trust me, baby, she is different. Now she thinks deeper, moves smarter, questions more, almost everything, and accepts less mess. She's not asking, do you want me? She's asking, do you deserve me? Mm-hmm. Now I'm gonna help you with um with this one because I don't want you to confuse his return with growth. And let's be clear, just because he came back, don't mean he changed, he yield, or he understands your value, or that you guys can get along. Sometimes people return because they're lonely, things didn't work out elsewhere, the grass wasn't green on the other side, you know, they miss what you did for them. Not because they're ready to love you properly, no. Now, this is where you stand in your power. And this is my favorite part, y'all. It's my favorite part. Because now you're not the woman waiting anymore. You know, you're that woman that's making decisions, you're deciding before you come back. You know, now you're that person, you're you know, this woman, she's elevating, you know, she's elevated, and she's also evaluating him to the T because she knows her worth now, she knows her value and her boundaries. Because sometimes we can have those boundaries. We think we have boundaries, right? By telling someone what we want, what we like, and et cetera. But are they really taking that in? Did we really hold them accountable to or ourselves accountable to the boundaries that we set for ourselves? Sometimes we don't. And we do have to start holding people accountable and ourselves accountable for the boundaries that we set. Because if they break those boundaries or we allow them to cross over those boundaries, who's to blame? We got to question it. All right, and another thing, most importantly, this woman now knows her peace and what that feels like better than confusion. So, with all of that being said, when he does spend a block, it's not just about him wanting another chance, it's about whether you're willing to reopen something that costs you your peace and your energy and your sanity. Okay. So my thing is, I think you should leave that door closed. Crazy thing is, you know, he came back to see if he still had access. And you know what? I'd be like, access denied. You do not get that permission, not at all. Not at all. It's too late, too little, too late. You had your chance, you have your opportunity. You can forgive, right? But doesn't mean you have to forgive and then go back through the cycle of that. So I want to leave you with this. You know, my question is, would you take them back, knowing what you know now? You know, not how you felt then, but who you are right now. Think about that. All right, well, I want to thank you so much for tuning in to Love Our Talks. I'm your host, K Love. And um, remember this love is not about who comes back, it's about who shows up right the first time. And if this episode has spoken with you or you know someone that's going through this, make sure you share this with somebody who needs this reminder. Because healing, it doesn't mean going backwards. Some things and some people are better off left in the past. Okay, so again, like I said, thank you so much. And I want to tell you um the reason I have been missing like a missing link here. Um, it's been taking some time because I have been working on some new projects and um I have been singing and songwriting. Um, this has been such a passion now of mine because I'm able to tell these stories, relationship stories. And, you know, I'm praying that this does touch some people and touch you. Like even with my podcast, I'm so grateful for each and every one of you for tuning in. And I hope this mess, these messages help you. Such is my songs. I hope that you can definitely tune in to listen to the songs, listen to the lyrics, because coming from someone that's been in relationships, which is why I'm make you know, I'm doing the podcast. Now I'm creating much more with music and lyrics. So definitely go check out my website, katrinalove.com. Okay, you will find three new singles on there. One being my first single that came out is called Take Me There. The next one is I Am Love. Okay, that is the name of the album, and there's so much more to come. Okay, so I have been really working on my music right now, and I hope that you can join that journey as well. And thank you, thank you so much for definitely following me, sharing, being a community with this podcast. I'm grateful for each and every one of you. All right, thank you so much. Bye.