WAIT… IS IT HOT in HERE or IS IT ME?

We kick off Season 4 by naming Her Curve Era as a real-life turn in the road where our bodies, confidence, and relationships can shift without meaning anything is “wrong.” We talk through hot flashes, sleep loss, brain fog, and mood changes, then land on a better question that helps us respond with care instead of criticism. 
• defining Her Curve Era as a season of change, not an ending 
• hot flashes and night sweats showing up anywhere, including dating moments 
• sleep disruption leading to exhaustion, low patience, and foggy focus 
• brain fog and memory worries, plus stress and poor sleep as amplifiers 
• mood shifts without dismissing real feelings as “just hormones” 
• coaching partners to ask better questions and offer support 
• communicating our needs clearly, including space, rest, and help 
• checking in with our bodies and talking to a healthcare professional when symptoms feel severe or persistent 
• reframing from “what’s wrong with me” to “what’s happening with me” 
Tune in, level up, and love on purpose.

Thank you joining  Love Our Talks and listening to these juicy topics!

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:23

Hey, hey, hey loves. Hey loves. Welcome, welcome, welcome back. As you can tell, the excitement in my voice. I am super, super excited to be back, y'all. Welcome back to Love Our Talks. I'm your host, Kay Love, your certified matchmaker and love advisor,

Season 4 Welcome And Vibe

SPEAKER_01 0:45

right? And baby, welcome to C Zen 4. Season 4, y'all. So you already know the drill. Now I want you to go ahead, grab your wine, your coffee, your tea, your smoothie, whatever you're sipping on, your drink of choice, and come on in. So although this season is gonna be pretty, it's gonna be really, really, really good, y'all. And although, depending on where you are in this season of life, you want to put a little extra ice in that drink, okay? Put a little extra ice in that drink, ladies. Because we're about to have one of those conversations. You know the kind, the kind that starts with girl. Can I ask you something? And 20 minutes later, everybody has a story, right? And that's what I want this season to feel like. I want it to feel like a girl's night. Sitting around with your sis, shoes off, drink in hand, talking about the things we don't always talk about out loud. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that part. And ladies, this season is definitely for us. But fellas, don't go anywhere. I need y'all to tap in too. Because if you love a woman, you're dating a woman, you're married to a woman, or you plan on spending your life loving one, you need to hear some of these conversations too, okay? Because here's the funny part. Sometimes y'all don't understand what's happening with us. But baby, we don't always understand what's happening with us, okay? So we're trying to figure it out too. And that is exactly why I created something new for season four, y'all. Something I'm calling her curve era.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Her curve era. Now you might be thinking, um, okay, hey love,

What Her Curve Era Means

SPEAKER_00 2:55

what exactly is her curve era?

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Okay, let me explain this to you. Let me tell you. We hear so much about getting older as women. We hear words like perimenopause, menopause, hormones, hot flashes, mood swings, brain fog, and all the things, right? And yes, we're finally starting to hear more women openly talk about it. I mean, we've even had celebrities like Halle Berry use their platform to bring more attention to menopause and women's health. And of course, I love that because we need these conversations for real. But I still don't think we're talking enough about the women that actually living through it day to day. Um, what is happening to her, not just medically, but I'm talking about her body, her mind, her confidence, relationships, marriage, dating, intimacy. Okay, her life. Because this season can um can touch so many different parts of who we are. And I didn't want to create something that sounded scary. You know, I didn't want something that sounded clinical either. I definitely didn't want something that made women feel like, uh, well, girl, I guess this is it. No, ma'am. You know, like this the end of the road. Uh no. That's not how we're looking at this. That's why I chose the name. Her curve, era. Because when I think about a curve, I think about a road, right? You're driving, you see that curve coming. You don't, you know, you don't stop the car. You know, the journey isn't over. You simply have to navigate that part of the road a little differently. Maybe you slow down, maybe you pay closer attention, maybe you can't quite see what's waiting around the corner yet, but you keep on going. And I think that's exactly what happens to us women. We're not at the end of anything. We're coming around a corner, we're coming around a curve, our bodies may be changing, our priorities may be shifting, and our relationships may look different. We may start thinking differently about love, intimacy, confidence, purpose, even you know, ourselves. We're meeting another version of the woman we've um been becoming all along.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

And then there's the word era. Well, why era?

SPEAKER_01 5:37

See, I chose that intentionally too, because an era is a period of time. It's a season, a chapter, you know, it isn't forever. And I think that's important to remember because I don't want women looking at this stage of life like we're entering something permanent state of. Like, oh Lord, here we go, right? No. The thing is, we're evolving, and that's what her curve error represents. It's the season where we're learning our bodies again. You know, we're learning ourselves again, and maybe even learning how we want to be loved again. So throughout season four, we're going to talk about all of it. Okay, our bodies, minds, love, dating, marriage, sex, intimacy, confidence, friendships, identity. And those moments when you call your girl and say, Hey, girl, please tell me I'm not the only one.

SPEAKER_00 6:49

I'm not the only one.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

That's her curve era, and this is our space to talk about it. So, ladies, welcome to her curve era. And fellas, I need you to pull up a chair because the women, that woman is changing. Okay. Love has to evolve with her. Now, let's go, let's get into our very first conversation because this right here, I know I'm not the only one. Okay. And I the thing is, I haven't started a lot of these journeys yet. So I am in that phase of getting some things, right? And haven't fully gotten there yet. But I know people that have close people to me. And this topic today, I've heard this before. Okay. Wait, is it hot in here or is it me? I've heard that topic. I've heard that before. And girl, have you ever just been sitting there minding your business? Everything is fine, and then all of a sudden, you feel hot? Nah. You're like, no, you know, is it a little warm in here? No. Hot? Your face

Hot Flashes And Public Panic

SPEAKER_01 8:00

is hot, your neck is hot, and you're starting to sweat, and you like looking around, like, turn the heat up. Is the air on in this place? Why is nobody else hot? So meanwhile, everybody around you is perfectly comfortable, right? And you're two seconds away from taking off everything, okay? You're legally allowed to remove in public. You like, I just want to get rid of everything on me. And finally you ask yourself, wait, is it hot in here?

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Or is it just me? Girl, it might be you, boom. And that's when you start realizing, uh, okay, so we doing this right now.

SPEAKER_01 8:46

We really doing this right now. Because knowing that hot flashes exist and actually having one, two completely different conversations. They can show up while you're at work, dinner, grocery store, in a meeting, in the middle of even just getting dressed on it for a date. And Lord, can you imagine you're sitting there trying to be cute after you done spent all this time on looking good, getting ready, prepping yourself right? And you got your hair right, your makeup right, you're feeling good, and suddenly here comes the heat. Baby, now you're trying to keep the conversation going while internally you are just thinking, please don't let these beads of sweat fall down my forehead. Okay. Okay, literally. And then, you know, there's like this the nighttime ones, right? You finally get comfortable, you know, you're asleep, and you're like snuggled in your covers, and it's like nice and toasty. And suddenly you are awakened. Hot. Covers off. Five minutes later, you're cold, covers back on, then you're hot again, off, cold, on, hot and cold. Girl, at some point that confidence doesn't even know where it stands in this relationship anymore. Right? It's crazy. And now the thing is, you didn't even sleep. Which brings us to something else. Why am I so tired? Because when you are not sleeping, everything else can start feeling harder. Your energy, your patience, your uh, your concentration, your mood. And now somebody comes into the room asking you 17 million questions before you even had your morning coffee. Baby, you looking at them like, read

Night Sweats And Why You’re Tired

SPEAKER_01 10:44

the room, read the room. Okay, and sometimes we're judging ourselves for not having the energy we used to have, you know, without stopping to ask, girl, when was the last time you actually slept? Because maybe you're not lazy, maybe you're exhausted, maybe stressed, your body is changing. Maybe it's several things happening all at once. And that's where I want us to start paying attention instead of immediately criticizing ourselves. Because then here comes another one.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Wait, did I? Where'd I come in here for? Y'all heard that before too, right? Wait a minute. Why did I come in here? Let's talk about this brain fall, y'all. Because this one, girl, have you ever walked into a room, stopped,

Brain Fog Without The Shame

SPEAKER_00 11:45

and thought, why am I in here?

SPEAKER_01 11:50

No, seriously. You know you came in there for something. You didn't just wander in the kitchen for sightseeing, right? You had a purpose, you had a mission, and now nothing. It's just poof, blank. And you're standing there looking around like the refrigerator, the refrigerator is going to give you a clue. See, you know, that's why I wanted to get that new Samsung refrigerator, okay? Because maybe I hit that button and it reminded me of what I was thinking, because maybe I told it to remind me later, you know, keeping notes. I don't know. But just about, right? Just about. Um, you know, but anyway, why did I come in here? What did I come in here for? Then you walk back out and you suddenly, oh bing, that's what I that's what I needed.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

So then you turn around, walk back in, and lose. Here you go, you forgot again.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

And now you're standing there having a whole meeting with yourself. And when I tell y'all, this is truth moment. I literally have conversations with myself all the time. And a whole meeting with myself. I ain't kidding, y'all. Girl, get it together. Get it together. You know, like you're in the middle of talking, and the word you just need just disappears out your mouth. You'd be in a whole conversation with somebody else, too. And you'd be like, hey, what's that thing called that, you know, the thing, the thing. Yeah, you know the word. You use the word your entire life. But for the life of you right now, your brain has apparently clocked out for lunch. It's taking a break. And now you're pointing, like, oh my God. Look, just hand me that. Hand me that, the, the, you know, the thing, huh?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

And everybody looking at you like, what? Girl, what what are you talking about? And I know. I know.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

And when you don't understand why it's happening, it can actually be scary. Because now you're wondering, is something wrong with my memory? That's the first thing we're gonna think, right? And trouble with concentration and that brain foggy feeling can happen during the menopause transition. And things like stress and poor sleep can add to it. But let me say this to you though, because we're going to laugh, we're gonna laugh a lot on her curve error. But we're also gonna take care of ourselves. Everything that happens after 40 is not automatically a menopause thing. Um, if something feels severe, persistent, and it's getting worse, it's affecting your daily life, or is simply worrying you. I need you to talk to your healthcare professional. Don't diagnose yourself over cocktails with K-Love. Okay. I am not a physician. I may play one on TV and you done seen me on Chicago Mid, right? Okay, yeah. But um, we're going to have the conversation. And then we're going to take care of ourselves. Whew. Okay. And let's talk about these moods, right? The moods, okay, sis. So come here. Because we need to talk about this one too. Have you ever been perfectly fine one minute? And then suddenly you're irritated and you're thinking, oh, why am I just irritated? And you don't even know why? You know, something that normally wouldn't bother you today? Oh, now

Moods, Tears, And Real Overwhelm

SPEAKER_01 15:33

it's bothering you. You know, somebody's chewing too loud. Oof, that bothers me. Why are you breathing like that? Man, I'm telling y'all, this is real life. Why did you put that cup there? Why did you, who moved my charger to why does everybody keep asking me where everything is? And then sometimes you have to catch yourself.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Okay, girl, hold on. Self-talk. What is going on?

SPEAKER_01 16:04

Or maybe you're more emotional those times. Maybe you're watching something that normally would bother you, and now you're crying. Then you're sitting there thinking, why am I crying? And now you're crying harder because you don't even know why you're crying. Girl. All these things. But here's something I really want us to remember. Not every emotion is hormones. Sometimes you're just irritated because you're just simply irritated. Sometimes you're overwhelmed because you're carrying way too much. And sometimes you're unhappy because something in your life needs attention.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

Right?

SPEAKER_01 16:44

And sometimes hormonal changes may be part of what's happening too. Both can be true. And I don't want women, you know, like dismissing legitimate feelings by saying, oh, it's probably just my hormones. No, maybe we need to ask, what am I actually feeling and why? That's part of getting to know this version of ourselves too. And fellas, I need you to come here. Come here for a minute. Come a little closer. Because now, fellas, you know, I told you I was gonna bring y'all into this. Because imagine you're watching a woman you love go through some of these changes. She's not sleeping, the hot, the cold, she can't

How Partners Can Support Better

SPEAKER_01 17:29

remember why she walked into the room, the irritated irritation, tired, and you say, What's wrong with you? Sir, sir, I need you to pause. Okay? Pause for the calls. Because I'm telling you what's gonna go down. You know, but um, we can probably come up with a better opening line, you know, fellas. Just try. Hey, babe, are you okay? How did you sleep last night? Is there anything you need? You know, sometimes she doesn't need you to fix it. Sometimes she just needs you to understand she's navigating something, and maybe she doesn't fully understand it yet either. But ladies, don't start sending this episode to your man talking about, see, K-Love said, leave me alone, because I'm going through something right now, and it's the curve era.

unknown 18:21

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_01 18:22

Uh-uh-mm-m-mm. No, ma'am, don't do that. Don't do that. That is not what I said. We have a responsibility too, and that is to communicate. And if you need space, say it. If you're exhausted, say it. And if you're feeling overwhelmed, ladies, use your words. If something feels different with your body, talk about it with him. Because this season isn't just happening to women. When you're in a relationship, it can affect the relationship too. And that's something we're going to dig into all season because remember, the woman is changing. Love has to evolve with her. And girl, pay attention to you. And here's something I want us to start doing during her curve era is paying attention to yourself. Not obsessively, but we're not going to wake up every morning like, oh, my elbow hurt. Uh, it's menopause. No, we're not doing it. We are not doing it. But genuinely

Check In With Yourself Daily

SPEAKER_01 19:30

check in with yourself. How am I sleeping? Ask yourself these questions. How's my energy? How am I feeling emotionally? Are my periods changing? Am I experiencing high flashes or night sweats? Am I having trouble concentrating? And has something changed with my body that I keep ignoring? Because I think women are, you know, really good at pushing through. We push through being tired, we push through being uncomfortable, stressed, and we take care of everybody around us. And then sometimes our bodies have to um our bodies have to practically stand in the middle of the road waving, okay, a red flag before we finally say, okay, maybe I need to pay attention to myself. And girl, please do that. Please, because your body can start yelling at you. And understand this too. Every woman's curve era is going to look different. Your girlfriend's experience might not be yours. Your sister's might not be yours. Your mother's, you know, may not be yours either. Some women have symptoms that really affect their daily lives, and some don't. Some women notice changes early, earlier than most, and some later. And that's why this isn't going to be a series where I sit here saying, once you're over 40, once you hit 40, this is exactly what's gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

No. Mm-mm. No.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

This is, you know, these are things women experience. And let's just talk about them and then learn your body. Ask questions, talk to your healthcare professional when you need to, and give yourself permission to learn this version of you without judging her. And maybe we're asking the wrong question sometimes. You know, what if I've been what I've been thinking? You know, um, women spend a lot of time asking, what's wrong with me? Why am I hot? Why am I tired? Why am I irritated? Why can't I remember anything? Why don't I feel like myself? What's wrong with me? Right? But what if we change that question? What if instead we ask, what's happening with me?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:54

You see the difference? And what's wrong with me assumes something is broken. What's happening with me gets curious. It's curiosity. And I think curiosity is going to be a big part of her curve era because maybe your body isn't betraying you. Maybe she's communicating with you. Maybe she's saying, Girl, I just need you to pay attention. And after all these years of taking care of everybody else, maybe this season where we finally start listening. So we have something new that we're going to call K-Love's Heart Check. Okay. And heart check is, you know, me giving you little nuggets. And before I let you guys go, I want to definitely leave you with this. Um something to sit with after our girl's conversation is over. The next time you have one of these moments,

Heart Check And A New Question

SPEAKER_01 22:45

you're hot, you're exhausted, you walk into the kitchen and you don't remember what you came in there for, and you're just standing there. Before you criticize yourself, I need you to pause. And instead of asking what's wrong with me, ask what's happening with me. And what do I need to do? Do I need to reset? Do I need rest? Do I need support? Do I need to slow down? Do I need to make an appointment with my doctor to ask more questions with them? Or maybe I just need to give myself a little grace as well. But whatever it is, don't automatically make yourself the problem. Get curious about the woman you're becoming. Because her curve era isn't about desperately trying to get back to the woman you used to be. And you're not going to go backwards, baby. Life is that's just how that's not how life works. It doesn't go back. It's about getting to know the woman you are becoming. And girl, I have a feeling she has a lot to say right now. She has a lot. And we're not at the end of the road. We're just coming around the curve. So, ladies, welcome to Her Curve Era. And I'm your host, K Love, and this is Love Our Talks. So I need you to tune in, level up, and love on purpose. All right, till next time.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

Bye.